To wonder if it’s possible to meet a partner as a lone parent

[SluggySlug]

I’m a single mum and I’d really like to start dating again, but it honestly feels impossible.
I have my children 100% of the time and no support at all. I know people will say “just get a babysitter”, but they’re expensive, and even if I could afford one regularly, would a couple of hours a week really be enough to build a relationship? I would obviously have to factor in travelling to and from the date and it doesn’t feel like it would be enough time to find something meaningful?
It feels like there’d be no sleepovers, no weekends away, no spontaneous evenings together - just the odd couple of hours here and there. I also don’t want to introduce anyone to my children until it’s a serious, established relationship, so that’s not something I’m willing to compromise on though im sure thats how most in my situation manage.
Has anyone else been in this situation and actually managed to find a partner? If so, how did it work in practice? Or is it as difficult as it feels? Has anyone managed and how did you?

No, I waited until mine were 12 and 15 before dating, so they could be left at home for a few hours.

It really is very difficult if you have no support. To be honest, I didn’t date for long, I found men pretty disappointing and am far happier single. Good luck!

Not me personally but some of my friends are single parents and have now found new partners they are very happy with, although I will say not with absolutely no support. I totally agree with you that if you genuinely have no support & are reliant solely on babysitters which as you say cost money and come with time restraints on top it would be really difficult. My friends who have managed it have family support for sleepovers, weekends away, we all help out so I’ve had her children here for sleepovers or dates etc as have our other friends so I do think just from the people I know you do need a bit more support than just paid babysitting to make it work.

Yes I know plenty of single parents who have met a partner but their children’s fathers are involved so different story unfortunately

How old are your kids? I have a wonderful partner of a few years ago is also a lone parent. We had daytime dates around shift work when kids were at school and then introduced after 6 months.
We don't live together but travel and spend time when we can.

I did, unexpectedly, at work. No dad involved here either. DC were 6 and 10 at the time. We dated mostly in the daytime for a very long time. Lots of patience and flexibility but most of all, just being absurdly compatible which made it somehow feel easy even though it was logistically tricky! I think we had maybe 5 overnights together during the first year, and we've had one weekend away in four years.

Introduced DC after 6 months of dating (had known each other almost 2 years by this point, and very well for 18 months), and from around a year DP was sleeping over once a week. Moved in after 3 years. It's been gradual and easy and everyone has seemed to be ok with it.

I didn't expect to be able to have this sort of relationship at this point in time. I had my children fairly young and had assumed I'd start online dating once DC2 was well into her teens.

Ah thats great to hear you met someone. It seems so impossible at the moment. I will be using online dating apps as I never meet men.

i met mine on tinder!

You won’t meet the best of men on Tinder. My daughter is 22 blonde Hot beautiful no baggage. All of her friends the same university educated stunning.
They’ve all come off dating apps due to the calibre of dickheads on there
The only men on dating apps the ones that can’t find relationships in real life through the usual organic channels

Ah thats a shame but probably more her age than anything? Most men in their early 20s aren’t looking to settle down. I don’t meet men in real life and even if I do they don’t approach me.

I’m literally double her age and that’s my experience as well
Don’t mention that you’re a single parent on your profile. That is my strong advice.
men are not gonna approach you in the street or in bars like they used to in the 90s the people that I know that I’ve had a lovely successful relationships have met through doing things, clubs, activities, being in a coffee shop every week at the same time at work organic slowburn relationships
The dating apps are for a quick hook up and single mums are seen as easy targets
And that’s the ones that are interested in you and not the kids

They aren’t looking to settle down either by the way, just not to be used as an unpaid prostitute.

I will be mentioning it as I don’t want to mislead anyone but I won’t be introducing them to anyone anytime soon, my experience with dating in my early 20s was most men didnt want a serious relationship and that was a mix of online and real life.

Good luck 🤞

As a full time single dad I understand what you’re going through OP. I have had my toddler full time and with little help from others for the last 6 months (in that time I’ve had 2 child free nights), but do get a few hours at weekends normally.

Emotionally and mentally I’m ready to get back out there and date but just don’t have the time. I’m juggling enough things as it is!
Have met people ‘in the wild’ and had attention (and been asked out) but have always been honest and upfront with them about my position, as I’m not willing to string them along or give hope that my situation might change.