What to do next?

[Datinghelpneeded]

Was dating a guy a few years back. Where we came unstuck is that he didn’t really show any emotional depth, whereas I was wanting a relationship. I am now 36, he is 41. The chemistry and attraction have always been there, and I have always wondered what could have been between us.

About a month ago, out of the blue, he added me on Instagram. We exchanged a few messages, then he went quiet. Then yesterday, he had seen on my stories that I have been having some work done on my house, and he sent me a message to ask about it. The chat escalated quickly, and the next thing I was at his. We had a good catch up, talking about life, then things went on from there… You can join the dots as to what happened next.

I messaged him when I got home to say it had been good to see him, and thanks for a lovely evening (trying to focus more on the sentiment of seeing him, rather than the physical side). He replied to say he was glad I got back and that it had been fun. I said I hoped he had a good day with the family tomorrow (today), said goodnight, and put a kiss at the end. He read it this morning but not replied.

Not sure what to do now 🥴 I like him and would like things to develop into a relationship, but can’t read him.

Nooooooo, don't do it. You're no more than free sex for him with someone he knows and doesn't need to buy flowers, take for dinner, etc.

Well it doesn't sound like anything has really changed? You still want a relationship and he is still distant and unable to communicate, so there's no point going over it all again.

I would imagine he was only after one thing, and will get back in touch when he wants it again.

Sounds like it was just sex nothing more nothing less

Op, you already say he has no emotional depth. And now you are surprised you’ve shagged him and he’s..disappeared?
Kindly op, this is a you problem. You are chasing unavailable (and frankly not very nice!) men, for a reason. Sort some therapy out for yourself. You will figure it out and choose better for yourself in the future xx

Sounds like he was after a shag and that's what he got! He sees you as a FWB, not a relationship. I think you need to look elsewhere if that's what you're looking for.

Adults tend not to fundamentally change who they are as a person. Yes we can learn to be on time, how to stop burning food or snorting when you laugh, but this man has made it clear he's es not interested.
Don't message him again, it'll come across as desperate. He's not being hard to read, he just wanted sex.

Nothing's changed, he's not looking for a relationship;

He just wanted sex, notice he said it was ‘fun’ code for nothing serious. If he did want more, he’d be asking you to meet up again and plan more than just going to his for the night. So you do nothing about it, move on, ignore him, no good will come from this one.

Op if you liked you and wanted to pursue you, you’d know. He’d prioritise you. If you’re confused, he doesn’t like you, that’s all you need to know. Your future husband would not treat you like this.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Still no word from him, although he is still watching my stories… I think I might have to delete him off my Instagram, as being ignored eats me alive 😅 Thanks again 🙏

Remove him as a story viewer (or just delete him), its not worth your thought.

Just block him on everything. Why torture yourself.

Just delete him. He’s not worth your energy and he sounds like a dickhead