Experiences of dating an ADHD man?

[gradistar]

Just asking for peoples experiences dating men diagnosed with ADHD.

Oh for gods sake that's so 'othering' you are making out like people with ADHD have something wrong with them!

I'm not sure that's fair. OP is just asking for experiences. ADHD is a condition which can have social implications, OP is simply asking for people's experiences of those.

My ex had ADHD and would often zone out whenever it was my turn to speak. He wouldn't take in anything I said unless he was directly interested in it. Sure, you can say "not everyone with ADHD does that", and I'm sure that's true, but it is one of the known common symptoms so it's fair to assume it's ADHD related

My husband has ADHD. It’s been very very difficult at times. We have almost divorced several times.

Is this person willing to engage with therapy and medication when needed? That has been an absolute dealbreaker for me.

@babybudgie87 May I ask: when you met him, did you at first find some of his characteristics endearing, that you later learned could be ascribed to his ADHD and were less easy to put up with later on?

Maybe you were boring him.

Oh I definitely was, no question!

I think that just like with any condition, people have personality separately to their condition. Please remember that.

ADHD does not make you an arsehole or ignorant or rude or abusive.

What I will say is though, the male counterpart of my condition, according to mumsnet, doesn't seem to take a lot of accountability for themselves. As an ADHD woman, I couldn't put up with that either. I won't be responsible for another feckless male.

I am unmedicated however I use a lot of practical methods to manage myself. I am kind, caring, empathic and unselfish. Maybe that's because due to female conditioning, I do not know. But I do put the effort in because my life is less chaotic and I couldn't deal with it falling to bits.

I don't want to be generic as I am sure a lot of males with ADHD take accountability but you wouldn't know it on here. But then everyone on here seems to attribute terrible behaviour to being ADHD so what do I know.

Everyone with ADHD is different just as everyone without ADHD is different.

My DP has ADHD. He's a bit chaotic at times and I have to put my foot down about Piles of Doom. But he takes medication and accepts that he has a condition that he needs to manage. Without that acceptance and accountability, I don't think we would have got far.

It seems experiences can vary a lot depending on the person, how their symptoms present and whether they understand their own patterns. I recently came across an article called “How Do ADHD Symptoms Differ Between Men and Women at Diagnosis?”, which gave some helpful context around why ADHD may look different from one person to another.