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Original poster

Marriage/wills

25 replies

CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 13:37

Hi,

So I have been with my husband for a while now, he’s a lot older than me, I left my home to move into his and I work full time so he could cut down on his work hours. I moved into his home that he owns outright but he has just told me the house is being left to his grandsons (aged 7 and 14) and it’s worth half a million currently. I will be left £250,000 from his savings. Now please be honest with me, am I right to be annoyed? I’ve always paid my way and taken great care of the home and husband, he has only seen his grandsons a couple of times, so I feel a little disheartened. We have no children, he has one son from a previous relationship.

any advice would be great, thank you 🙂

OP posts:
HighlightsInHerHair · 05/07/2026 13:43

How Iong have you been married? Did you sell a house to move in with him or were you renting before? You and the two grandsons will be left the same amount each - I think you are doing ok given the circumstances. If he left everthing to you would you leave it to his grandsons after you died? He could set things up so you get the benefit of the house during your lifetime but I can understand Thant he wants to pass on his inheritance to his descendants.

muddyford · 05/07/2026 14:03

Depending on how long you've been married, I don't think he can leave you in a worse place financially in his will than if he died intestate. You can contest the will if he has. But I could be wrong.

Zen81 · 05/07/2026 14:08

This seems unusual. I would certainly be outraged by this! If you are married, then I’m pretty certain you automatically have a right to half of the house regardless of what he puts in his will. I would seek legal advice on this. It makes sense to leave the grandsons £250k from savings and you the entire house.
I would be fuming! Is the house solely in his name? You can go on UK government website to check Title Deeds for a very small fee.

Good luck.

Original poster
CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 14:16

Zen81 · 05/07/2026 14:08

This seems unusual. I would certainly be outraged by this! If you are married, then I’m pretty certain you automatically have a right to half of the house regardless of what he puts in his will. I would seek legal advice on this. It makes sense to leave the grandsons £250k from savings and you the entire house.
I would be fuming! Is the house solely in his name? You can go on UK government website to check Title Deeds for a very small fee.

Good luck.

We have been married 10 years and yes the house is in his name only

OP posts:
Original poster
CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 14:24

HighlightsInHerHair · 05/07/2026 13:43

How Iong have you been married? Did you sell a house to move in with him or were you renting before? You and the two grandsons will be left the same amount each - I think you are doing ok given the circumstances. If he left everthing to you would you leave it to his grandsons after you died? He could set things up so you get the benefit of the house during your lifetime but I can understand Thant he wants to pass on his inheritance to his descendants.

10 years and I privately rented before

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 05/07/2026 14:46

When did he make the will OP, was it before or after you got married? Marriage revokes previous wills.

Original poster
CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 14:48

WallaceinAnderland · 05/07/2026 14:46

When did he make the will OP, was it before or after you got married? Marriage revokes previous wills.

It was after

OP posts:
Hivernal · 05/07/2026 14:48

Did you intentionally marry a much older man so he would pop his clogs and leave you everything?

Given that he was already a grandfather when you married him (with a fully paid off house) I find it mad that you resent him leaving most of his estate to his DGC. And the comment about you working full time while he reduces his hours is silly, surely he's heading towards retirement age?

Unless you've been pouring money into the house or paying all the bills I think you're being unreasonable.

Having said that he should add something in the will to allow you to live in the house for ~3 years or something so you don't have to deal with moving house immediately after he dies.

Wofflewaffle · 05/07/2026 14:54

Is this really the first time in ten years of marriage that you’ve spoken about your wills? It sounds like you expect your years of working and looking after the house / husband to be taken into greater account- was this ever discussed?

What decisions did you have about financial arrangements when you got married? Did you ever ask to be added to the deeds of the house?

What is the age difference?

How do you get on with his children?

Original poster
CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 15:00

Hivernal · 05/07/2026 14:48

Did you intentionally marry a much older man so he would pop his clogs and leave you everything?

Given that he was already a grandfather when you married him (with a fully paid off house) I find it mad that you resent him leaving most of his estate to his DGC. And the comment about you working full time while he reduces his hours is silly, surely he's heading towards retirement age?

Unless you've been pouring money into the house or paying all the bills I think you're being unreasonable.

Having said that he should add something in the will to allow you to live in the house for ~3 years or something so you don't have to deal with moving house immediately after he dies.

No that isn’t the case at all and I do not resent his grandchildren, they are lovely boys. I pay majority of the bills and have used a lot of my savings on the upkeep of the property too

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 05/07/2026 15:02

If you are in England or Wales You don't automatically have any entitlement to the house but you may be able to make a claim.

What is your own financial situation, are you financially independent. Would 250k enable you to buy your own place with your own mortgage?

Original poster
CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 15:03

Wofflewaffle · 05/07/2026 14:54

Is this really the first time in ten years of marriage that you’ve spoken about your wills? It sounds like you expect your years of working and looking after the house / husband to be taken into greater account- was this ever discussed?

What decisions did you have about financial arrangements when you got married? Did you ever ask to be added to the deeds of the house?

What is the age difference?

How do you get on with his children?

I did ask to be added to the deeds and it was a firm no, he also threatened to k* me if I ever divorced him and he was to lose the house (he almost lost it due to a previous divorce)

OP posts:
Wofflewaffle · 05/07/2026 15:05

He threatened to kill you?

why are you still with him?

Original poster
CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 15:07

Wofflewaffle · 05/07/2026 15:05

He threatened to kill you?

why are you still with him?

This came out after we got married, so unfortunately I can’t leave him! I feel very strongly that he would go through with it if he lost his house

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 05/07/2026 15:07

CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 15:03

I did ask to be added to the deeds and it was a firm no, he also threatened to k* me if I ever divorced him and he was to lose the house (he almost lost it due to a previous divorce)

Edited
Show quote history

You wouldn't necessarily have any more claim on the house if you divorced anyway OP.

But this sounds like an abusive marriage.

Mycatmax · 05/07/2026 15:08

CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 15:03

I did ask to be added to the deeds and it was a firm no, he also threatened to k* me if I ever divorced him and he was to lose the house (he almost lost it due to a previous divorce)

Edited
Show quote history

Oh he sounds splendid. Why on earth have you spent your own money on this house?

No option but to divorce him now. Do you have somewhere safe you can go if he’s likely to try to kill you?

Original poster
CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 15:08

WallaceinAnderland · 05/07/2026 15:07

You wouldn't necessarily have any more claim on the house if you divorced anyway OP.

But this sounds like an abusive marriage.

Show quote history

He’s never raised a hand to me or anything like that at all, the only thing he mentioned was the divorce part, so unfortunately I’m stuck as I genuinely believe he would go through with it if he was to lose the house

OP posts:
Original poster
CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 15:10

Mycatmax · 05/07/2026 15:08

Oh he sounds splendid. Why on earth have you spent your own money on this house?

No option but to divorce him now. Do you have somewhere safe you can go if he’s likely to try to kill you?

Show quote history

Because I’m too soft for my own good sometimes…and this has been my home for years so I wanted to make it right, I didn’t want to live in a dump

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 05/07/2026 15:14

CoolLilacCrab · 05/07/2026 15:08

He’s never raised a hand to me or anything like that at all, the only thing he mentioned was the divorce part, so unfortunately I’m stuck as I genuinely believe he would go through with it if he was to lose the house

Show quote history

He doesn't have to hit you to be abusive. He's threatened to kill you and you take that threat seriously. Doesn't this tell that it's an abusive marriage?

EnjoyThePettyLiar · 05/07/2026 15:34

Well, 10 years marriage and taking care of a much older man, worth a lot more than 250,000.

Marriage sucks!

Wofflewaffle · 05/07/2026 15:53

Wow OP I’m wondering what the / your back story is that you are so calm about your husband threatening to murder you? And you’ve lived with this for 10 years, while decorating and improving his house with your own money?

Can you answer my other questions?

Wofflewaffle · 05/07/2026 15:54

Why did he marry you?

WallaceinAnderland · 05/07/2026 15:57

Why did you marry him?

Wofflewaffle · 05/07/2026 16:01

WallaceinAnderland · 05/07/2026 15:57

Why did you marry him?

Yes this too.

suburberphobe · 05/07/2026 16:15

I pay majority of the bills and have used a lot of my savings on the upkeep of the property too

Oh dear....

And you didn't get this in writing from him through a solicitor?

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