Divorcing friends - has anyone successfully navigated this?

[UncommonFishwife]

So it looks as if my closest friends are heading for divorce 😢 I’m devastated for them.

I genuinely consider both of them equally close friends. I met them as a couple and have always spent time with them together, so there’s no question of feeling more loyal to one partner than the other. As such, it’s really important that I try to stay neutral and support them both. At the moment, they’re trying to keep things amicable - Friend B has even asked if I’ll keep an eye on Friend A. But I worry it’s only going to get harder to stay close to both of them; whether they will each be wondering if they can confide in me knowing I am still in close touch with the other.

Has anyone out there managed to do this successfully? I would hate to lose either of them, and if ever they needed their friends, it’s now. I really want to do right by both of them at such a difficult time.

Probably gravitate towards the other woman as that's just how friendships seem to work.

Unless I fancied the bloke and had an itch to scratch in which case I'd explore that

Anyone got any tips that don’t involve me moving in on one half of the couple? 🙄

It’s pretty good advice to be fair

Stay out of it, don't discuss one with the other, never offer an opinion, stay civil to both, carry on doing anything you usually do for either of them and wait it out.

20 years later I am loosely friends with the man and his DW2, and his DW1 and I are cordial when we meet, which is rarely because she moved away.

I think treat them the same initially, then over time you will see who you remain closer to and it will sort itself out naturally.
Our best friends divorced 8 years or so ago, the H was crap at keeping in touch even though we made the effort, and has now remarried someone really unfriendly, whereas the W has become an even closer friend than she was before with our family and we do Christmas/birthdays/holidays etc. she’s also stayed single so more time to socialise etc.
I still say hi to the H if I bump into him and it’s friendly, but wouldn’t arrange to meet up.
also the W has needed more emotional support as her life has been very hard in recent years and all her family overseas.
so it will work itself out, if you start off friendly with both and keep it neutral (no gossiping!), life will take its course and you don’t need to make a ‘decision’ as such.

Honestly no good advice because I lost my best friend of 18 years following her divorce. Her and her exH, my dh and me were a very close knit group we did everything together. A number of things happened that contributed to their breakup and it soon became clear that it was unattainable to support both.
They both badmouthed each other which didnt help and made it extremely uncomfortable but the ex-H realised that needed to stop sooner and so didnt engage in conversation about the situation/his ex quicker.
The wife who was my closest friend was like a dog with a bone and wouldnt stop talking about her ex, stalking his emails and locations amd complaining when it looked like he was dating (she ended it, he didnt want the divorce and she was seeing someone else)

Friends who were mostly her friend and not couple friends pulled rank and said to choose a side basically, so we did.

Really sad but tbh the drama was too intense.

Reading back at your post it is really hard. Its actually better if they didnt confide in you and so your relationship will wane in my experience...