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Relationships

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Pregnant, struggling in relationship and worried about finances if I leave

1 reply

SpryAquaCrab · 04/07/2026 23:09

Looking for some advice, my partner and I have been in a bad place for a while. The month our first child (16m) was born, he opened a business, he had planned this during the pregnancy and despite discussing how responsibilities would be shared, the business demanded more of his time than he had initially realised.

This meant I spent the majority of my postpartum journey alone. All of the household responsibilities along with caring for our son and helping with the business fell to me. This caused a lot of arguments as we both had a lot on our plate but he was constantly asking me for more.

When we argue, he becomes defensive and hurtful, and to be honest, very disrespectful. Recently this has really affected my view of myself. I’m 4 months pregnant with our second baby and I am told daily how horrible I am, how many mistakes I make, and how unbearable I am to be around.

I’m at the point where I’m really struggling with my mental health and not sure how much more I can take. I own my home but wouldn’t be able to afford it alone, even with a full time job, as I’d need to pay for my son to be in nursey full time, and when the second baby comes along, I wouldn’t be paid a maternity wage.

If I was to sell my home, I would have to use the money to pay off the debt I got in helping him to open up his business, and wouldn’t have anything left. I assume as I currently have a home, I would not be eligible for any housing support.

I feel like if I was to leave, I’d be in a terrible position financially and have no where to live. But if I stay I’m not sure how much more I can take 😞

OP posts:
Fluffyowl00 · 04/07/2026 23:31

You will be entitled to maternity allowance and universal credit top up which works out as about £1,200 per month if you own your
own house, until your youngest reaches 3.

If you work as well once you finish maternity leave you will gain 55p per £1 so it tapers off until about £1,700 per month. Plus universal credit will pay some child care costs. And nursery is “free” from 9 months. I paid about £200 per month using a childminder.

When you earn more than that/childcare costs are lower you can get “free” childcare and 20% off the rest though tax saving.

It really is doable and sounds waaaay better than being driven into the ground.

Wishing you all the best

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