Feeling more like housemates than partners after many years together

[Seriphiacandytotz]

Dh never wants to do anything with me. Maybe the odd meal out. He Has his own hobbies, fishing cycling photography. Apart from some family get togethers I wondering what we have in common. He's emotionally distant sex is rare that's because I lost interest, menopause and put on weight. Grown up kids.
Very unhappy but scared to end things after many yrz.sometimes just feels like we're house mates. So sad and it feels very lonely

Have you told him how you feel?

Yes he doesn't listen. Blames me and gets defensive. Extremely difficult communicating with him he just says "this is me"

Well if he makes no effort then he gives zero fucks about you or your marriage.

You may find you want to have sex again with the right person

I had a 'this is just me' reply. I ended the relationship.
You can spend the rest of your life being in a relationship with someone who isn't concerened with how you feel, or you can be brave and end it and live happily ever after by your self.
It may be lonely to begin with,but its certainly calmer.

Just unsure what to do. What's the point anymore

I think you need to take a step back.

Firstly, think about how life would look if you were single and living alone - better or worse? Not just emotionally but financially and in a wider family context.

If you are a couple with zero interaction, how does it feel at family events?
What happens in a crisis, do you pull together or are you detached?
How does he act if you are unwell - caring and helpful, or not?
Are you good friends or not?
Affectionate even without sex?
Can you share a hobby?

Be honest with yourself and you will find an answer that is right for you.

What scares you about separating? We all have different fears and needs. Maybe write it down and make an action plan.

It would be tragic to carry on as you are.

You can bite the bullet now or you can resigned yourself to being sad and lonely until one of you dies. He isn't going to change, other than possibly to end it himself if he comes to the same conclusion as you, but men rarely leave an empty marriage.

My partner and I were where you are now a few weeks ago – no joint interests other than our (aging) animals. Difference is that we've agreed our time is over and we will go our separate ways as friends (when the complicated logistics are sorted). People split up all the time and go on to live happy and fulfilling lives. It's your turn now.

I was in a similar situation. We separated. I lived alone for a year with my daughter. Am now in a wonderful new relationship. I am so glad I did it. You dont have to stay with someone who isn't enhancing your life.