Hi all
For context here is link to my other thread where I got lovely support and I am so, so relieved that I became strong, because the shit show I am now enduring is beyond belief
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5472976-emotional-affair-and-trying-to-reconcile-going-wrong?page=1
So - it turns out I was right all along and more - STBXH has been leading a total double life and its worse than I ever could of imagined. I have been dragged through the mud completely. Alsorts has come out.
Full on physical affair for months, stringing ow along with lies (she is as heartbroken as I am and contacted me - this is how it has all come out ) and she has been portrayed by him (and me sadly as as someone she isnt - hes fed her and work colleagues so so many lies. Told them we were divorcing months ago, ow became more involved with him around the time i updated In here about his behaviour etc . Work colleagues thought we had split up and they were an item at work and on the socials (which now makes sense with other stuff I posted ) he has even bought her rings and alsorts. He is a complete monster. Used two women fed us both utter lies and got kicks out of it. Sleeping with me then going to hers later on. Ive had all the proof I need and more. Hundreds of screenshots off ow and even work colleagues the utter bullshit hes been hiding. Playing the victim saying his marriage was over. He is not right in the head at all.
I am just so so proud of myself that he moved out before all this blew up. Im also grateful for the ow for reaching out to me (I know this dosent always happen) and making me aware of everything thats going on. I feel violated, humiliated and more. Ive read so, so many things, i cannot believe who this man is 💔💔 a complete narcissist.
After all the exposure hes still chasing ow thinking she will fall for his charms again and shes telling him to f off. shes had all the sorry ive had nothing. Shes updating me all the time. The level of betrayal is off the scale what hes done. He has just got a new apartment .
I threw all his clothes left here next to the smelly cat litter bins outside. Im being stone with him and told him I dont even want to look at him and my family members will be here when he gets the rest of his shit (which i feel like burning tbh ) I am not showing him i am hurting or angry. The satisfaction for me is he has been exposed for all to see. Everyone is as shocked as I am. He was planning to get with ow full time, asked her if he could move in with her in may (she said no) she became suspicious of him and which is why she reached out to me. Shes been strung along like i have. Told her he loves her etc and she fell for his charm and lies. When I was updating in my other thread about socials etc, everything makes sense now as she thought they were a couple. I was right all along.
I am a strong woman but this has completely destroyed me, its complete carnage. I just feel violated, a fool. all those times ive suspected and been gaslighted, played, how anyone can do this to people is beyond me. I also feel bad for the ow as he made her out to be a homewrecker when she isnt, I know I wasn't keen on her at the start but she genuinely thought we had split up, he has totally played us against each other, getting kicks. Just need to get through the next few weeks and he will be out of my life.
Does anyone have any advice with legal aid and when there has been emotional and sometimes physical abuse like this? As hes been aggressive towards me too 😞😞due to hiding everything . Ive got him off the tenancy we signed forms before all this came out
Any advice much appreciated xxx