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Financial contribution

30 replies

LollyMcL · 02/07/2026 22:39

First of all, i know this isn't ok. I really don't know how to deal with. 8 years together, own places. He has stayed with me ee very night for about 8 months. Never stayed in his place. He pays no rent. He gets benefits but works on side. He has plenty of money. But is super tight. Until recently i paid all food and all bills. Last 2 months, I've been asking for money towards food, which he's given, but not exactly happily. I said tonight i think it's reasonable for you to contribute here financially. He was shocked when isaid £200 a month, that includes all food. Now he has the run of my garage and had made modifications to garden for his benefit, as well as he pays absolutely zero in bills at his place. I mean zero. Well, it's become a huge issue. Can't understand why i now want money. Sent reluctantly, but followed up with things like, can i change my phone, can i make tea etc. Then - i don't live here, i have my own place. I was really upset at all this, wish I'd never asked, as the atmosphere is awful. He said he helps me in other ways, went now financially. Diy, fixing my car etc, i don't think the same. Btw, I'm 50s, divorced with adult kids. I know i am sounding like i should be better than this, but I'm struggling to make sense and make this ok.

OP posts:
Namechangetheyarewatching · 02/07/2026 22:42

Cocklodger

He wants all the benefits, but non of the cost.

Don't let him stay there and go 50/50 on food

Or just get rid of the knobber

Notahomeswap · 02/07/2026 22:43

I think you need to get rid tbh. Classic cocklodger territory here sadly…

PrincessofWills · 02/07/2026 22:45

He sounds tight. Why does he feel you should be shouldering the financial burden. Men like this, are their cocks that great . . . ?

PaperMachePanda · 02/07/2026 22:50

Cocklodger
Hobosexual
Mattress migrant
Human barnacle
Coochie commuter
Pussy pilgrim
Emotional support mooch

Pick your poison.

Your funding his retirement though. While he pays nothing he saves while you struggle.

He's a grand a cunt. Pick up a broom and chase him out.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 02/07/2026 22:50

So he’s a tight,selfish,argumentative cocklodger who runs a side hustle as a benefit cheat?
And you’ve wasted 8 years of your life on this piece of shit?
Really? Why would anyone do that?

Bonkers1966 · 02/07/2026 23:00

What a catch.

ThisMauveTurtle · 02/07/2026 23:11

Lots of people are tight and don't care who pays the bills.
You have to decide if you are able to put up with it or not. With somebody tight like that, if they do start contributing they make sure they get their moneys worth.

MrsMoastyToasty · 02/07/2026 23:18

Cocklodger and fraudster.

HandPulledNoodles · 03/07/2026 10:49

You lost me at him being on benefits and working on the sly.. you're enabling that. You should really think about your role in his benefit fraud. Shameful.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 03/07/2026 10:51

It’s time for him to fuck off back to his own house

professionalcommentreader · 03/07/2026 10:59

PaperMachePanda · 02/07/2026 22:50

Cocklodger
Hobosexual
Mattress migrant
Human barnacle
Coochie commuter
Pussy pilgrim
Emotional support mooch

Pick your poison.

Your funding his retirement though. While he pays nothing he saves while you struggle.

He's a grand a cunt. Pick up a broom and chase him out.

🤣🤣👏

AnotherForumUser · 03/07/2026 11:19

Cocklodger. He saw you coming sadly. People like him latch onto those with resources to support their living requirements so they don't have to use their own funds. Please get rid of this feckless and manipulative parasite. He'll bring nothing into your life apart from bills and stress.

He will not like being booted out, I suspect you'll get a combination of passive aggressive whining and nasty attacks. But you deserve better than this petulant prick. He's had pretty much a free ride on the gravy train. Now it's time to terminate his ride.

If you are concerned about his reaction get a family member or a friend to be with you. If you feel threatened at any point don't hesitate to call the police. Be aware that you can, quite legally boot him straight out if you do feel threatened by him. He's not a tenant but basically a lodger, an excluded occupier with few rights.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/07/2026 11:21

He needs to be your ex. He has taken you for a right idiot and has no respect for you whatsoever. He thinks you have mug written on your forehead. He targeted you deliberately as a single parent because in his head you were that bloody desperate for male company that you’d put up with anything. Your boundaries were tested by him and shown to be weak so he has taken full advantage.

99bottlesofkombucha · 03/07/2026 11:30

‘You’re right you have your own place, I think it’s time for you to go there now. Let me know when you’re hosting and cooking. See you later’

WolfRamHeart · 03/07/2026 11:31

Oh for goodness sake woman - kick him out

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 03/07/2026 11:32

Behaviour never lies.

He is stealing from you, and stealing from me as a taxpayer and fellow citizen.

I dare say he doesn't see it like that. If he never pays for anything then of course he has no idea how much things cost or are worth. His background and upbringing may have taught him that this is OK.

You have three options

  • carry on paying for everything because he's worth it and you can afford it
  • make him contribute and/or go home for 4+ nights a week. I would imagine he will make this very unpleasant for you and bully you into backing down, and/or maybe move on to someone who is happy to bankroll him.
  • dump him

In your heart you know that dumping him is the right thing to do for your own wellbeing.

Mischance · 03/07/2026 11:33

He gets benefits but works on side

Hmm .... that is quite sufficient reason to be getting rid of this scrounger, let alone all the rest. He sounds like a thoroughly distasteful human being.

BeaLola · 03/07/2026 11:36

Why are you with him ?

So on benefits but has side hustle, right with money, aghast at contributing towards living at yours …. Get rid of him pdq

Vaxtable · 03/07/2026 16:55

Afraid you put me off as he’s a benefit scrounger. Working on the side is not on and I would be reporting him for that

i would also tell him he has his own place he eats and sleeps etc there. You meet up for ‘dates’ and he can pay his way

Dweetfidilove · 03/07/2026 17:15

He gets benefits but works on side.

So you thought the thief wouldn't wanna live in your purse too? Right 😞.

Darragon · 03/07/2026 17:21

You need to find your anger OP. He’s taking advantage.

bellhawk · 03/07/2026 17:55

The benefits/works on the side / he has plenty of money situation sounds dodgy. It's run its course. Report him for fraud on the way out if you're inclined.

category12 · 03/07/2026 18:00

Dump him.

Freeme31 · 03/07/2026 20:27

He is disgusting by taking such advanced of your kindness, he has shown you who he is (benefits and working) that would put me right off the scrounging twat for starters. Added to he obviously has no respect for you. Dump now, don’t waste any more of your time and energy on the pathetic man. If he was your daughters partner would yoh be happy for her ?

mindutopia · 03/07/2026 20:32

Well, he can just start staying at his own place and buying and cooking his own food then. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Just like all of us adults do.