Partner ended relationship while on holiday after repeated arguments

[Notagain1981]

At the moment im on holiday in Greece with my 17 year old daughter. Had a argument with my partner last night and hes left. He said the relationship is over. Hes threatened to do this 6 years ago but i begged him not to leave. Last night when he threatened it I told him to go if he wants. He always starts arguments on holidays. Thank god we dont live together. Should I leave it there? Issues were around my perimenopausal symptoms and being unwell on holidays

Sounds as if the relationship has run its course.

Concentrate on your daughter. What's done is done for now, don't contact him. He wants out, let him go or you'll be back here saying the same thing in another few years. It's done.

Sounds ideal, you don't live together, so nothing to contact him about.
Enjoy your holiday free of him. I bet your daughter is happy to be rid of him.

What do you want to do @Notagain1981? If you do want to end the relationship then this sounds like the perfect opportunity.

I think your daughter will just be relieved you two have stopped arguing and spoiling the holiday.

Just concentrate on her now.

Well HE said he wanted to leave and running after him could be seen as controlling right?

Two things can happen from now
1- he backtracks, calls you agd wants to make up because,whikst threatening you was ok, actually leaving isn’t. I’d think twi ce about ‘taking him back’
2- he carries on and doesn’t make any sign of wanting to do the necessary work on your relationship. In that case, not a lot you can do but to accept you’ve split up.

Having said that, I suspect he’ll be back if he doesn’t have his flight ticket or has nowhere to sleep. This could be tricky if he is on a path of ‘I’m right. And I’m going to make your life miserable’
I do hope you have your own passports and flight tickets with you! (And your dd ofc)

Yes we do. We ok to get home and my car is at the airport. Thabk you for your response 🙂

How do you actually feel about it, particularly if it turns out the relationship is over and he hasn't just had a strop and said it in the heat of the moment?

If you really think about it, are you actually relieved? Would it make life simpler? If so try to enjoy the rest of the holiday and look forward to your new less complicated life. You have your daughter for company so it might be ok.

Or are you feeling distraught and regretful? Was the fall out to blame on both sides? I note that he starts it by being argumentative because you're feeling unwell/menopausal but what does that look like. Were you snapping and being moody? (Sincere apologies if not, you just haven't given much info).

I'm wondering if you are just incompatible. You don't live together usually and then on holiday you're crammed together in a small space ...
Having said that I've had my worst arguments with my husband on holidays and we're still married after 30 years. Mostly fine at home but he moans a lot on holiday if he's too hot, too tired blah blah and I get irritated with the moaning the longer it goes on, plus alcohol loosens the tongue and before I know it we would be having a massive barney. For a few years I deliberately never booked a holiday longer than 10 days as 11 days seemed to be the "familiarity breeds contempt" borderline.

Has not happened for the last few years. Maybe we've both mellowed.

Thank you all for your replies. Home now, not seen or heard off him. Dont feel that bad im home. So perhaps this was meant to be

If he’s not even checked to see if you’re both ok then I think you are way better off without him. How does your DD feel about what happened?

Shes relieved. Did have thoughts he would be at the airport.

Why would you belittle yourself by chasing after him? It's also not a good look for your daughter. The fact that she's relieved says it all.

Yes if she’s relieved it really is for the best that he’s gone. The relationship sounded absolutely toxic anyway. I can’t remember ever once falling out with my DH on holiday.

I’m really happy to see you’ve made your way home and are happily settled back.

The fact your dd is relieved says a lot.
Im Wondering if somehow you’re not relieved too tbh.

I imagine next step is to look at the house and how you’re going to handle him coming back (I’m assuming he will. At the very least to pick up his stuff).
Do you know what you want/what you can do?

Do you have any of his stuff at yours? If not, I would just block him and move on.

It won't be long before he contacts you expecting you to grovel and beg him to come back.

Tell him to get to fuck.

Nothing of his over mine other than his house key which ill post back to him

Only his house key is over here which im gonna post back. I do feel a bit sad but nothing like I used to feel on previous break ups

Glad that it’s only the key. If you’re posting it I’d send it signed for so that you know he’s got it and do absolutely block him on everything.

The fact that you have had previous breakups and arguments with him, that you don’t feel as bad and that your DD is relieved tells you everything you need to know

I’m glad that’s the only key.

The fact you’re not devastated as you have been before is also quite telling.
He might have flounced but it sounds like things weren’t right for a while really.

I wish you all the best @Notagain1981

Does he have a key to your house (or has he ever had one)? If so then change your locks.