Does anyone help their husband financially

[Sara329]

Hi does anyone think it’s ok to help their husband out financially if he’s in debt and you have the means to do so? This would be if your husband is a business owner and he’s losing income in his business so he would need a loan and you’re in a position to help.

Some people think that means he’s using his wife and others think it’s normal to help. I’m torn on what to do has anyone been in a similar position?

In our relationship it would be considered a family business and whether I helped would very much depend on whether I had full information and whether that information showed the help would be a one off that would sort out the issues long term, meaning the business contributed to family finances, or whether it would be good money after bad.

If it's very much seperate finances and you're kept in the dark about business matters, not a chance in hell.

Depends on the strength of his business and why he needs the loan.

If he needs investment to help a good business grow, it could be a better solution than him borrowing money from a bank.

However, if it's to prop up a failing business, which I suspect might be the case here, doing this will simply prolong the agony and it would be best for him to close his business and get a job, as this would mean he'd have a guaranteed income and you'll still have the money you're thinking about giving him.

He could still try again with his business alongside working but I wouldn't feel obliged to give/lend him money or go along with him continuing to lose money at the expense of your/household financial stability.

What the first two posters said.

It would be a family business if it were us and a conversation about injecting money into it would be about whether “we” should put more of “our” money into it. I wouldn’t consider transferring some money to Dh for something like this as helping DH, it would be helping us. But if he was pouring good money after bad we would have to have a very tough conversation about that.

My understanding of the legal construct of marriage is assets are joint. So the idea of helping each other out doesn’t really make sense as technically money is joint.

We share everything so if he needs money for something and we've got it then he uses it, same if I need money for something.

If its a loan to a limited company then it should be done formally

If he's a sole trader and his business is going tits up then they should decide whether they are throwing good money after bad.

Is he a decent bloke who does his share and pays his way normally? Are they a happy couple working as a team? (Whether or not their share money) or is he a user?

I think it’s bizzare to separate money like this in a marriage.
Is it okay for a husband to help a wife out financially if she’s working less? Why would it be any less acceptable for a woman to put in more money if she earns more?

At the point of divorce, yes. But just being married doesn’t give one person the right to demand money from the other.

If your gut feeling is that the business is not going to succeed then no. Sometimes men have too much pride to admit this and would continue pouring money down the drain.

We have a joint account for the house and separate accounts for our personal spends but DP and I would never loan each other money. When he has been out of work, I’ve floated us through. When my car needed a chunk of money thrown at it, he paid. At the end of the day we’re a team and would never leave the other to struggle if we had the means to help. We are however happy as a couple, contribute fairly in other ways and neither of us have been short a few quid due to being a dick which I think is relevant

Help out as in pay bills for the home, food etc - yes. It’s our joint home and our joint income.

Pay business debts - would depend on whether he was a sole trader or Ltd company. If the first, and his debts could spill over into our home - possibly.

Provide him with working capital to keep a poor business afloat - no.

I wouldn’t loan it, no, we’d decide whether the household could afford to float the business and make a joint decision. Like others it depends on whether there’s a particular circumstance meaning a cash injection is needed but will realistically come good or whether it’s propping up something that will fail anyway. We would both have full sight of the accounts to be able to make that decision.

You are married, your assets are his and his debts are yours.

I wouldn't have my business or car is hubby hadn't put the money up for it, all our money is joint, he is a high earner, I earn money to pay for holidays etc, we both have pensions and ISA's but the money in them has come from hubby's earnings.
In your situation it would very much depend, as others have said, if the business is failing and not likely to recover then it would be a tough conversation, but we discuss any big decisions before we make them anyway, regardless of where the money is coming from.

On the face of it, why wouldn't you help your life partner?

But as others have said, the devil is in the detail. If it's a short term loan to get over an unexpected cash flow and the business is otherwise safe, then go for it.

An ex-boyfriend started a business 30 years ago and initially I was helping out paying for some of the stock etc. The company is still going strong and employs about 50 staff now. The relationship fizzled out years ago.

If it's in terminal decline and you are throwing good money after bad, then that would be madness.

For me this would depend on the plan for and realistic likelihood of getting the business to where it makes money. Otherwise there is no point in having a business and better to shut it and get a normal job before it impoverishes you both further.

Tell him before you agree, you’d want a meeting with him and his accountant. He should show exactly how the money will be used to improve the business’s financial position long term, not just paying his creditors off and sticking his head in the sand. If he was borrowing from a bank he would have to demonstrate this, so he should give you the same information and plan, the loan should be properly accounted for. Alternatively, if the business is flawed, he should dissolve it, and get a job.