Looking for some solidarity and support. My mother has had depression all her life. It has had the most profoundly negative effect on me and my older sibling. Our parents divorced when we were young and we grew up living with her and trying to make things ok for her. Both of us developing chronic illness linked to this as adults. After intensive therapy I am now recovered but the scars are still there for sure.
She is now in her 70s, living alone and is bitter and isolated with no one aside from us. She is showing signs of cognitive decline as well as the depression and can't cope on her own.
She won't see the doctor or do anything to help herself. Instead she sends messages saying life isn't worth living on repeat as well as endless messages about everything that is going wrong in her house.
I have grey rocked her for my own mental health (for years) but in all honesty I feel too guilty that she has absolutely no one aside from me and my sibling. I also know that keeping my distance from her keeps her victim complex going e.g see no one wants to see me.
We have never been able to share any good news with her and she isn't interested or able to be any kind of support for us. So the relationship has to be superficial/completely 1 sided. But then she complains that we don't tell her anything.
I am finding this increasingly difficult to navigate and just wondered what others might do.
I don't feel it's possible to go no contact mainly due to the increased pressure that puts on my sibling but also because ultimately this is an elderly lonely woman who is struggling and I am not heartless. So I find myself trying to be there for her as little as does the job but it weighs so heavily on me.
Thank you for reading.