Together with DH (both early 30's) for 15 years (4 kids together). What initially attracted me to DH was that I thought he would a good humble family man. We spoke about kids and family like a lot when we were younger. However, fast forward he's a complete different person. He doesn't say it directly but his words imply that our family is a burden to him so much that he's had two episodes where he acts really "sick" and says he's stressed at the thought of this life i.e. kids basically and blames me for absolutely everything. I am freshly postpartum and he did not show up once for me during the whole period of my pregnancy and caused me so much emotional hurt that I have seemed external support to help me manage. I am now postpartum (1 week) and I have spent at least 4-5 of those days crying because of the bs he comes out with. There's just so much to put down that one post is not in enough. I have tried so hard to keep this family together because I do not want a broken home for my kids (DH comes from one) and my kids don't handle it well when we are not all together. I am riddled with guilt at this point. I have made numerous remarks to DH that I can't cope like this anymore and if he doesn't want this family then we should go out own ways but he is very quick to say "yes you tie me down and now you say this but won't do it bla bla". It's like anything I say is not good enough. He's made remarks that I would be so bad off without him and making reference because I am a mother of 4 no one would basically want me. Just to put into context, I have a stable corporate job that pays me well. I think he low key doesn't like that actually I can manage without him but he wants me to need him. I am sat here in a already stressed environment trying to tackle postpartum and he walks into the house and doesn't acknowledge me at all. However, his family come over and he's all happy again (not so sick anymore).
Honestly I am hurt deep and I am being punished for basically existing and having children and a marriage.