I don’t know what I’m looking for here but feel I can’t discuss in real life with anybody.
Is this normal life and I need to just accept that and get on with it.
I feel like me and my husband live separate lives, we don’t do anything fun anymore, I don’t think he’d miss me if I wasn’t here. He’s self employed and works long hours and often works 7 days a week. I run the house, his business paperwork, and mentally juggle the load. No kids.
He has no interest in intimacy and hasn’t for years now. He goes to work comes home and watches tv or scrolls on phone. We get on fine day to day to but we don’t bounce off each other how we used to.
Doesnt pull his weight at all in the home, doesnt clean, cook, leaves clothes piled up, empty food packets out instead of putting in the bin. Hair on bathroom floor from shaving. I then tidy up after him. I tell him about it, he says sorry, he knows, he will do better but never does. I have tried not doing anything but house just gets a tip, he will then help to tidy but nothing changes.
I feel lonely and isolated, I do work full time and have hobbies. I could do more with friend and hobbies but then feel like what is the point of us even being together.
He is not all bad, those are all the bad points. He’s very kind, hard working, generous. Like I’ve said we get on fine day to day, we don’t argue and he’s not remotely abusive. It feels like house mates though. We don’t do anything fun or interesting. I miss feeling wanted, the intimacy, appreciated as a partner.
I’m in my late 30s and feel like I’m craving some attention, how awful does that sound.
I have thought about leaving but does every relationship end up like this eventually, the lack of intimacy and spark gone, even if they do help in the house more. Do I accept this is how it is and make the most of it, the 2 income household, and build up my own life. It’s hard feeling single when you’re actually married though.
Can anyone relate and how did you move forward if at all?