Ex partner chaotic behaviour

[YouCanYouWill]

I have posted a few times basically just over a year ago childrens father left me said he wasn’t happy bickered a lot as didn’t see each other worked opposite shifts went straight into dating then got with someone 4 weeks later it went very fast introduced children moved in was very on and off they split up at Christmas and she with someone else by January. Got a message last week basically saying how much he regretted everything he done the day he left how he doesn’t recognise himself how he still loves me I’ll never be second best he’s been drinking heavily which he never done and shoukd never of walked away from family he created he was being selfish and should’ve worked at it as been chasing a life that wasn’t for him but has been made to believe it was. Anyways he asked to meet up I was annoyed as I had got over heartbreak mainly had odd days I said I would hear him out but I couldn’t trust him and he broke my heart and he was saying all these things that could change I wasn’t really answering. Then gets a message saying he needs to get off drink and still regrets everything but can no longer meet me as would be too awkward and he is sorry for everything he done and he’s f**ked his life up. Honestly I didn’t want him back and I don’t really know why i Agreed to meet him maybe it was validation as felt so worthless what he done but now I feel rejected for second time. Sorry for long post just after some advice

Focus on your children. Your ex has got issues which he needs to sort out (but may never do). Don't get drawn into his dramas.

He was dangling a carrot to see how you would respond in case he ever needed a roof over his head or a warm bed. Keep him at arm's length - other than what is necessary for the children.

@TobyEsterhase yes I will do I need to x

@Arlanymor I know I honestly feel like I’m back to being heartbroken again after I done so well rejected for second time round

Honestly love, take it as an opportunity to really stick to your resolve. He's treated you terribly twice now - playing around with your heart. This should give you all of the ooomph you need to move on from him - you're not his puppet and you don't owe him anything, including any of your time to have 'discussions' about stuff that will ultimately only benefit him. Onwards and upwards lovely.

@Arlanymor I know just don’t understand why someone would hurt you so much tell you made biggest mistake of life and that he’s went off the rails then change his mind again. I don’t deserve it I just don’t know how to move forward yet again

You don't deserve it at all. He's making decisions on his own behalf without any thought of anyone else. You need to develop a shield against him - only talk to him about essential stuff involving the kids and cut him off when he tries to talk about him and you. Change the subject and if he won't accept that then walk away or put down the phone. This is a really, really important time for you to set up your boundaries. And believe me, if you're feeling a bit weak now, then having those boundaries will make you feel stronger. Give you something to look to when you are having a wobble. I am so sorry life is so tough right now, but it will get better, it really will.

@Arlanymor yeah I done that for months as I accepted the fact he was no longer coming back last time he was in a relationship I was doing so well loosing weight meeting friends had a life then drops that bombshell. I think the reason is he’s on a date so I was obviously just second best once again