Does cutting contact with a difficult mother get easier over time?

[Asmumma]

I think I'm posting this to see if it gets easier with time, but right now I'm finding it incredibly difficult after cutting my mum out my life.
My mum can be lovely but make some really horrible decisions that affected our family massively, multiple times so she knew it was wrong and still did them. She can be a narcissist towards me, my sister's and her husband (although he is also one) but she has such a child like personality that everyone's always felt sorry for her (bad upbringing, had me at 16 and had mental health struggles) but I don't think it excuses the bad decisions time and time again, we all have tried to support her but it was making us all miserable, her drinking gets out of control and she agrees but won't stop. She cheats and tells everyone she doesn't love our stepdad, drag me and my sisters into their marriage problems and then decide they want to be together and make us act like nothing happened but this time we said enough is enough, it all got very nasty and they never care what affect it has on us girls.
Me and 2 of my sister's cut contact, they both moved out to our grandparents (dad's side) and our little sister still lives there, although our stepdad is her dad so she has no where else to go anyway.
One of my sister's has little contact with our mum but it never ends up going well, she always gets upset but can't seem to let go. She had tried to make contact with me once in 4 months, but It ended up in an argument because she doesn't acknowledge that she has been a bad mum in a low ways.
I am struggling because I made the difficult decision for my son who is 4 to have no contact and they was close, but she hugely broke my trust so I didn't trust her with him and Id have to have contact with her if he did.
I believe I'm missing the idea of the mum I wanted, the version of her I thought was nice, the nan I wanted for my son but I don't think she will ever be that. Its making me very miserable, it's now approaching mine, my sisters and my sons birthday and our first without her so I feel like it's making me feel worse.
Is there anyone who's been in a similar position? Did It get easier? It keeps me awake most nights and cry most days.

My husband did it and we have a happy peaceful life. There is occasional sadness when you remember like special occasions but it is worth it. If she is a narcissist, she will start manipulating your little boy. This is very common: undermining you and making him believe that granny loves him best. Do this for him as well.

You are very brave. There is a great support thread called something like 'My parents used to take me to stately homes' where the children of these kinds of parents give each other great advice. Search it.

So sorry to read this. In haste but yes, cut contact with my mother, and over time it did get much much easier. And another seconding the excellent advice and support from MNers on the stately homes thread (on relationships forum). Good luck.

Yes, it does get easier. I am NC with my mum because she facilitated a convicted child sex offender having contact with my children, knowing he was a risk but not really caring. It does take time though and it’s not as simple as just cutting ties. You have to actively work on yourself to heal the wound. It won’t just go away on its own with no change on your end. Therapy helped me a lot, as did a lot of self development, changing my own destructive habits, and really making peace with it.

I am 6 years from when I initially went NC for my children and 4 years from the last time I ever spoke with my mum. Life is good. I rarely think of her. My kids are happy and doing well. I do sometimes have moments when I feel sad to not have a mum (or any family, other than Dh and my children, she was my only biological family other than my dc). But I wish I had a good family and a loving mum. I don’t wish I had her. Every so often she pops up and sends me an abusive email and it gives me a good reminder of why we are NC!

But yes, it does get much easier. But you also have to put in the work healing yourself too. You will have a lifetime of pain that doesn’t just go away because she has.