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DH and 'helping' with the housework

5 replies

PithyOtter · 28/06/2026 10:23

Kind of light hearted, but also driving me up the wall. I have a job where I have very busy periods at certain times of year with very long days, 7 days a week. I'm coming to the end of one of those periods now.during these times, I don't have time to do the housework I would normally do, and DH 'helps' (or so he thinks).

Except that all he does is bloody laundry. The machine is constantly on and there are constantly piles of laundry everywhere. He seems to have this idea that laundry can be 'done' I.e. not a single item waiting to be washed. He puts things away when they're not properly dry in order to hang out more wet washing. I pulled a load of stinking towels out of the cupboard yesterday, obviously out away while still damp.

While this is going on, the bathroom is untouched and disgusting, the kitchen stinks of old fat, the kitchen sink makes me want to cry, and everything is covered in cobwebs because he doesn't wipe or dust anything. If he catches me quickly trying to clean something he rushes in saying I'll do that. Why the bloody hell didn't you do it already? You've got eyes and a brain.

Every year we end up in an argument where I tell him to stop doing bloody laundry that doesn't need to be done, stop stuffing damp clothes in drawers, do some actual bloody cleaning if you want to make a difference.

It's like he thinks the only actual cleaning I do that he doesn't do is laundry.

And breathe.

OP posts:
UpDownAllAround1 · 28/06/2026 10:29

If he works Ft too in this busy period, maybe after years as you say of asking, time to get a cleaner in

abitbloodybrighteroverthere · 28/06/2026 10:35

This is all very odd …

Do you not share the housework through the rest of the year? Because if you’ve been doing everything most of the year, I’m afraid you’ve trained him to be incompetent.

Why is housework your job by default?

PithyOtter · 28/06/2026 10:46

abitbloodybrighteroverthere · 28/06/2026 10:35

This is all very odd …

Do you not share the housework through the rest of the year? Because if you’ve been doing everything most of the year, I’m afraid you’ve trained him to be incompetent.

Why is housework your job by default?

Because apart from these few weeks a year, he works much longer hours than I do, and does most of the cooking, so things are split in a way that works for us.

OP posts:
GreenHuia · 28/06/2026 10:52

I have a two-month-old 'koala baby' so can't do as much housework as usual, DP has been very good at doing more than his fair share, but especially laundry! Several loads a day. To be fair, it's not too often that he puts away things that are still damp. Maybe it's just a man thing!!
My dad came to stay with us when I was pregnant, and was mostly very helpful. One day he saw me carrying a load of wet washing to peg out so took the basket off me, so helpful right! Except when I went out later to see if the washing was dry, I discovered he had only helped by carrying the heavy basket, not actually pegging anything out!!

Junejunejune · 28/06/2026 10:57

If it’s normally your role then you need to either let him to do, sit him down and explain to him
exactly what you want him to do and/or get a cleaner for those few weeks.

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