Long term partner/fiance messaging other women

[Pinkxmas1997]

I think I just require a hand hold here..so we have been together a really long time, engaged, have a lovely house and a beautiful 2 y/o DD. To cut a very long boring story short(ish) ..I noticed he had been acting off and a bit distant however he does struggle with mental health issues so it can be like that. He has had a recent problem with going out partying and leaving me to hold the fort, so things weren’t amazing between us because I felt like he was obviously letting me down but ultimately my DD down the most. Things all came to a head last weekend when he lied about going on a work trip to stay out with mates for 2 nights getting on it, we never spoke for days and I told him he needed to leave. He agreed to leave and said he had been unhappy in our relationship and that’s why he did what he did..however before he leaves he tearily tells me that he has been messaging other women for about a year while intoxicated and he wants to sort himself out and see if we can work on things. I know deep down this relationship is DOOMED, but I am so so devastated.. can this ever be fixed? Or is it time to accept the facts and get my ducks in a row

If someone can do that, not only to you,but to your 2 year old...I think you know he is no good.

Please don't waste your precious life 💐

Honestly? He goes out partying leaving you to look after your daughter, lies to you and has been messaging other women? Tell him to fuck off and don't come back - and mean it!

If his solution to not being happy is lying, messaging other women and going out with the lads, rather than talking to you in the first place (rather than when found out) and trying to work on it, then he's not a good man. Do you think you'd ever be able to trust him again? Has he said why he's unhappy? Let me guess - it's because he's realised parenthood means more responsibilities, less freedoms and not being #1 in your attentions?

Sorry OP. If he has the strength of character to sort himself out it could work, but he sounds weak and incredibly selfish. That’s not behaviour - they are traits and are not to be admired. If you make a decision now, you could do this amicably with your daughter’s best interests at heart. You both deserve better X

Wouldn't be surprised if coke is in the mix of his partying.
As for the crocodile tears that's just pathetic.

Dont stand for it op get rid of this will be a cycle that will go on for years
MN is littered with threads where the womanising,escorts etc is always excused with but I didn't go through with it.

That would put escorting sex work as really badly paid as nobody goes through with it same goes for messaging other women.

Another ordinary and disappointing man.
So you can’t trust him. That’s a bit of a death knell. Aside from the emotional aspect are you protecting yourself financially as being unmarried and a parent can leave you shafted?
Arrange your finances as if you can’t rely on him. Make sure he pays his share of parenting costs and protect your housing. Build a private escape fund if you can.
Typical for a man who has behaved badly to expect you to fix him. Don’t let him use mental health to absolve himself. Your mental health is at risk here.

He is a weak, selfish liar who is only sorry and tearful because he's been caught out. No doubt he will blame his so called mental health issues when in reality he has wilfully cheated on you and his child. Don't waste your time on him OP, he had lied and let both you and your daughter down.

Can you imagine if YOU told HIM the same? He would have kicked you out of the house so fast you’d not even have the time to collect your things! Don’t waste your life by giving him another chance. He’s definitely not your ‘partner’.