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Relationships

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Am I wrong to expect my ex to make an effort?

6 replies

Minimad1978 · 27/06/2026 22:26

So for a bit of context - my partner and I split (my choice) 5 months ago. Unfortunately we are still living in the same house until his house purchase completes. It is our daughter’s birthday in 3 days. He’s just had a go, asking me when I was going to tell him what we were getting her for her birthday. By which he means, and said, what am I buying and him transferring money to me. I explained we have split and I have organised presents. He feels very agrieved that I won’t just let him transfer money with no effort again. I’m done with all that stuff from him. More context - I work full time and he works sometimes but has money. Am I completely int he wrong for expecting some effort?

OP posts:
Tillow4ever · 27/06/2026 22:38

Well done for standing your ground! He needs a wake up call and fast - I suspect his expectations that you do all the mental load have contributed to the split.

He’s got time to order something online if he can’t be arsed to go out. He’s got time to go to the shops. This is his problem to fix, not yours.

Stay strong - you’ll be rid soon!

UpDownAllAround1 · 27/06/2026 22:45

Is daughter 3 or 30? Maybe impact on her of this needs to be factored in

NewDogOwner · 27/06/2026 22:47

He can no longer expect partner benefits when you are no longer partners. Expect him to get a new partner to take over those duties very soon (if he can)

Minimad1978 · 27/06/2026 23:17

She will be 12. Further context. He has 2 older children he buys presents for.

OP posts:
Manonhere · 27/06/2026 23:38

Minimad1978 · 27/06/2026 22:26

So for a bit of context - my partner and I split (my choice) 5 months ago. Unfortunately we are still living in the same house until his house purchase completes. It is our daughter’s birthday in 3 days. He’s just had a go, asking me when I was going to tell him what we were getting her for her birthday. By which he means, and said, what am I buying and him transferring money to me. I explained we have split and I have organised presents. He feels very agrieved that I won’t just let him transfer money with no effort again. I’m done with all that stuff from him. More context - I work full time and he works sometimes but has money. Am I completely int he wrong for expecting some effort?

I assume this is part of the reason he is your ex? 😀

Minimad1978 · 28/06/2026 09:38

Manonhere · 27/06/2026 23:38

I assume this is part of the reason he is your ex? 😀

Totally!

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