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Relationships

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4 dates but hot and cold texting 😔

5 replies

MidsummerMadness91 · 27/06/2026 00:21

Been on 4 dates with a guy off Breeze (relevant as that app doesn't let you talk before you meet). The dates have been great, really fun, loads of spark. He's told me he finds me attractive, but I've only had two pecks so far and not sure why.

Anyway, it's been 2 weeks since date 4 (delay was unavoidable on my part) and we're meant to be meeting Monday after work. His texting is so inconsistent though. There'll be days where I get video messages or voicenotes with loads of humour and energy. He was on an international day trip last weekend and told me he wished I was with him. He asked me to go to an event with him in 2 weeks time. Then suddenly it'll drop off completely for 48+ hours before he reappears with a "what's new?" video. I'm confident he's not married.

He updated his dating profile the same night we had our first date but I don't know if he has done since. It does occur to me he's probably dating others.

Should I write this one off? I really like him in person but this is making me a ball of anxiety.

OP posts:
MidsummerMadness91 · 27/06/2026 00:23

Should add on date 1 and his profile said he doesn't enjoy texting in early dating but I hoped/expected that'd improve as we progressed.

OP posts:
AImportantMermaid · 27/06/2026 00:24

He will be dating other people and you should be too. In online dating world you should never put all your eggs in one basket. You’re not exclusive until you both agree to be exclusive.

MidsummerMadness91 · 27/06/2026 00:26

AImportantMermaid · 27/06/2026 00:24

He will be dating other people and you should be too. In online dating world you should never put all your eggs in one basket. You’re not exclusive until you both agree to be exclusive.

Thanks, i know you're right. I'm frustrated with myself because last week when things were going really well I cancelled another date because I wanted to focus on this guy. Lesson learned

OP posts:
Inmyuggs · 27/06/2026 05:33

Why not call him? Catch uo after his trip and how is he.
Constant texting can be annoying.
He is probably busy and dating others.
You can only ask...the joys of dating.

aquashiv · 27/06/2026 05:44

Agreed, he might be seeing others or simply busy with work or life. Remember, it would be unusual if you suddenly appeared and they immediately dropped everything for you. I personally prefer face-to-face interactions over messaging. Still, it’s good to take the initiative and suggest activities you'd enjoy. Be cautious, as coming across as overly needy early on can be a major turn-off.
Keep your options open.

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