The future just looks like a big grey space

[badgerinthebluebells]

My husband has been diagnosed with cancer. Praying he may have years but there is a good chance it’s months not years.

To say I am blindsided is an understatement. I’m so very lost and feel very alone. We have a five year old and our youngest isn’t even three. All I can see is a really bleak, lonely future where I’m struggling emotionally, possibly financially (I’ll be fine in the immediate short term with mortgages paid off etc but DH is quite a high earner and we thought we had years to save for house deposits for our children and university etc.)

It’s hard not to feel low with a thousand possible anxieties running through my brain.

I just needed to let it out somewhere.

I don't have any practical advice, but just giving you a big hug you can sink into. That's a shit situation and there's not really a way to make it better. X

Hello
I'm so sorry x
Have you considered contacting an organisation like Marie Curie? They are really good people who can help with all manner of things for you right now.
I'm hoping everything gets brighter for you and your family. I am sorry I haven't got lots of advice. I'm thinking of you x

Thank you. It really is. I know I have to be strong for the children but it just isn’t the future I thought I’d have.

Thanks @kazzyscotland . I did call the macmillan support line yesterday and while they were extremely kind it wasn’t hugely informative. It’s just an endless circle of ‘what does the biopsy say / he hasn’t had his biopsy / when is the biopsy scheduled / we don’t know.’

DH seems to think the fact they are in no apparent rush means he’s half way to the ground. I don’t know if he’s right or if this is typical. I suspect it is typical, unfortunately.

I'm so sorry 😞 of course you're reeling and it's not surprising - you're facing a future that looks very different than the one you were planning. It's scary and uncertain and your allowed to feel awful about it. I can imagine you're trying to stay as upbeat as possible for your DH and children but you need to be able to offload somewhere. Can you speak to your GP about getting some support for yourself? Do you have family/a good friend you can meet up and cry with when you need to?

You can only do your best to get through one day at a time. And if you have a wobble, cry, rant, rage - that's ok too. There's no rulebook that says you have to be stoic and strong all the time. Give yourself grace, you are doing your best. Sending love to you and your family 🙏

What a kind reply; thank you

I'm so sorry OP, that's devastating.

What a tough time for you all. I hope there's very good news ahead.

Have you seen Health Talk on here. It might be helpful to you and your family. Thinking of you.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/cancer