Wednesday, June 12, he bought me a pregnancy test and I found out I was pregnant.
Friday, June 19, I realized I was getting sick. When my partner came home from work, he told me to go sleep in his room because it was cooler and he would come after eating. He ate, made some work calls, and never came. I asked him several times because I was sick and pregnant. I wanted him to come and talk to me or do something. He stayed silent and did nothing.
He was lying in the living room while I was in my room. When I realized he had gone to his room, I went in crying and told him, "I'm pregnant and sick, please pay attention to me and talk to me." He replied, "You always talk. Be quiet and just lie down next to me." I got angry and called him useless.
That night he told me he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
The next morning, we went to a laboratory so I could have blood tests done and find out my blood type. He barely spoke to me. After that, I went to work and he had a business trip in another city. He told me he would leave on Saturday and come back on Sunday.
We talked on Saturday. On Sunday morning he called me. I asked why he wasn't coming back yet. I was suspicious and asked many times if there were girls there. To reassure me, he even turned on his camera without me asking and showed me around. He said he was ready and would be home in about two hours.
I don't know what happened, but I became angry and said terrible things to him. After that, I think he blocked me.
He had promised to come back on Sunday. I waited for him until midnight. He never came home and he didn't answer my calls or messages. I kept calling. No answer. I kept texting asking why he wasn't coming back. No answer.
Eventually I became very angry and started insulting him through messages just to get some reaction. I even called from different numbers. No answer. I contacted the friend whose house he was staying at. No answer from him either.
Around 4 a.m., I texted him that I had spoken with the doctor and cancelled my abortion appointment for Monday. After that, I said nothing else.
At 10:10 a.m. on Monday, he sent me a long message saying he had already paid the deposit for my procedure. He said I had to go and that if I didn't go, he would never make another appointment for me. He said it was my last chance and I couldn't change the date again because I had already postponed it once because of my exams.
Then he told me he never wanted us to be together again. He said he didn't even want a good morning message from me anymore, didn't want me in his room, and didn't want to come near me because I had disrespected him too many times.
I understand that I hurt him, but I was genuinely upset because I felt abandoned.
On Monday around 2:30 p.m., he came home from work and we went to the clinic together. I was extremely stressed and scared. He barely spoke to me. Several times while we were walking I tried to hold his hand, but he pulled it away. I tried again and he pulled away again.
Before going into surgery, I kissed him and told him I loved him. He did nothing.
After the procedure, he helped me onto the recovery bed. He squeezed my hand for a moment. While I was crying, he briefly put his hand on my head. Earlier that morning, before the procedure, he had told me that the pregnancy was the only thing still keeping us together and that after it was over, we would separate.
After the clinic, he took a taxi and brought me home. I wanted a hug because I was in pain, but he didn't hug me. He simply said he wanted to sleep.
That night I went to his room and hugged him. He didn't hug me back. I slept there for about two hours and then returned to my own room.
He doesn't kiss me. He doesn't hug me. He told me the relationship is over.
Today, after work, he bought me ice cream and chocolate and brought them to my room. But he still didn't hug me and didn't let me kiss him.
We talked. I asked for another chance. He told me that whenever I get angry, I disrespect him. He said he needs time to watch my behavior and see if I really change. If I do, then maybe we can start the relationship again.
What am I supposed to do now?
Today is only my second day after the abortion and it feels like hell. I need him, but I can't seem to have him close to me in any way.
I feel depressed. I cry almost 24 hours a day without stopping.