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Relationships

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My partner is just a miserable old moaner

16 replies

Susa1 · 23/06/2026 22:14

Please tell me it’s not me in the wrong.

with my partner 6 years have a child together we both have families from Previous relationships. When our youngest was born I went back to work for around 2 years then it became apparent she had differences currently waiting to be assessed for autism as well as other things. She is non verbal and doesn’t sleep as part of her condition so I had to give up work to care for her and my partner constantly makes me feel bad that I am not working moaning he is paying the bills etc I do get dla which helps pay food cost etc but he is a high earner earning over £100k a year and to me that’s a very good salary but he acts like he is skint I don’t ask for anything I don’t buy myself clothes I do my own hair like I if I had the freedom to work like he does cause I do everything then I would want to provide all I can for my family but it’s like he doesn’t even see us as that. Tonight the curtain pole fell some which gave him a reason to start his moaning he said I’ve financially crippled him. We moved house and I had sold my house and put everything in to this which was over 50k to give our youngest a room yet he acts like it’s just his house saying tonight he’s selling it to get back on his feet. Please tell me he’s been horrible right it’s not me like I feel he doesn’t even try understand our daughters struggles. If I could leave I would but I have no income only my child’s dla coming in. I literally get like £400 a month and he says you get all that money a month what are you even doing with it like 🤯 he gets thousands and he’s skint apparently.

OP posts:
Hopefulmama21 · 23/06/2026 22:16

Leave him, let him sell the house, get your 50k back and he can pay child maintenance from his £100k salary.

Wormam · 23/06/2026 22:17

He’s a prick, you deserve better. He sounds incredibly selfish and doesn’t view you as a team but as a hindrance to his lifestyle.

Have a look at the entitled to website to calculate what you would receive as a single parent benefits wise.
is your 50k ringfenced?

QuaintBeaker · 23/06/2026 22:20

He sounds like an arsehole.
There is no way he's skint on that income unless he's jizzing it all away on something.

What do you get from being with him, other than a roof over your heads?

I think you'd be better off than you think if you split. You'd likely get at least half of the house value.
You might be able to stay there if you can afford the mortgage repayments because I don't think he can force a sale until your daughter turns 18?

Do you have access to any money other than the DLA? if not, I'd say that's financial abuse

OneTealMentor · 23/06/2026 22:21

QuaintBeaker · 23/06/2026 22:20

He sounds like an arsehole.
There is no way he's skint on that income unless he's jizzing it all away on something.

What do you get from being with him, other than a roof over your heads?

I think you'd be better off than you think if you split. You'd likely get at least half of the house value.
You might be able to stay there if you can afford the mortgage repayments because I don't think he can force a sale until your daughter turns 18?

Do you have access to any money other than the DLA? if not, I'd say that's financial abuse

How could she afford the mortgage on £400 pm?

Steggasaurus · 23/06/2026 22:24

How much does he take home per month and what are the monthly household outgoings?

He may actually be skint!

QuaintBeaker · 23/06/2026 22:25

OneTealMentor · 23/06/2026 22:21

How could she afford the mortgage on £400 pm?

She might be entitled to other benefits, plus child maintenance

DurinsBane · 23/06/2026 23:19

OneTealMentor · 23/06/2026 22:21

How could she afford the mortgage on £400 pm?

If she is on her own she will get other benefits

Susa1 · 24/06/2026 00:15

He doesn’t tell me how much he exactly has each month I only know the mortgage is 1400 council tax is 300 and gas and elect is 250. He pays his ex like 800 a month the csa. I actually want to leave him he is very selfish and is all about himself. Like if he watched out child I would work hard for us and not moan one bit cause why would anyone moan about providing for their families. I feel so low tonight how cruel his words have been says he wishes he never met me. I don’t ask for a penny he buys himself 5000 watches and clothes shoes all the time I have one pair of trainers from hachoo fake shoes. I have tried even doing Tik Tok so earn money and I have been getting bits and bobs but he slags me for that says it’s a joke and embarrassing.

OP posts:
Steggasaurus · 24/06/2026 08:37

@Susa1 yeah he’s horrid. Get rid somehow.

LilyBunch25 · 24/06/2026 08:40

In the first instance contact Citizens Advice to find out what your position would be initially with benefits and the housing situation, and take it from there.

millymollymoomoo · 24/06/2026 09:27

So firstly

are you joint tenants on the house or tenants in common ( is there a deed of trust ringfencjng each of your deposits?) are you even on the deeds ?? Please say yes !

secondly check what you’d be entitled to as a single person with dependent children.

check what cms you’d get ( it will be split between you and ex )

presuming he’s a partner not a husband?

Twolittlebirds75 · 24/06/2026 12:45

Sell the house take your money and RUN.💕

DeepRaven · 24/06/2026 14:09

being on 100k a year and refusing to help you with disabled daughter is abuse wtf LEAAAAAAVEEEEEEE HIM AND RINSE HIM FOR THE CM

Susa1 · 24/06/2026 16:24

Yeah says to me he doesn’t have money it’s hard been the only one paying the bills he’s a joke. I was on my own before meeting him and was on 25k and managed it all myself never grudged a penny for my bills never mind what he’s on. I’ve decided to play him and get what I can then leave

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 24/06/2026 16:28

DurinsBane · 23/06/2026 23:19

If she is on her own she will get other benefits

She won't get all her bills paid. Is the £400 a month just spending money. Depends what has to come out of that surely.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 24/06/2026 16:51

i would leave asap and not bother playing him.

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