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Relationships

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Should I be concerned about an acquaintance's repeated relationship upheavals?

3 replies

Holdinguphalfthesky · 23/06/2026 21:16

This is really none of my business, but I almost feel I'm watching a disaster in slow motion. Can you help me shake it Off, or advise me what to do, if anything?

I slightly know a woman who shares her life very publicly on a facebook group shecreated. Over the last 5 years, she's had a baby (her fourth) , sold all her family's possessions so they could follow her husband's dream of living a nomadic life; moved to Mexico, where her husband told her he didn't love her and wanted to separate; moved to Australia where she has family. The husband (father to all the kids) stayed in Mexico for over a year.

Next thing, she had to take steps to secure the business she'd set up on her own and made a success of, against her husband so that he couldn't shut it down out of spite.

She relaunched it with a new name and it remains very successful. However.

Next thing, she got together with a British man who couldn't live in Australia with her, without them marrying, so they got married.

Things seemed Stable for a while but periodically she would share something her ex had said or done - such as tell their 11 year old daughter she looked like "a whore" while wearing a vest top.

Next thing she's left the new husband and is back with the old one. They took the kids out of school and went to Bali, and from there back to the U.K. In doing this she's fallen out with her family in Australia, who've supported her through all these massive events. Now she's saying she wants to buy a house here, she can finally afford to but her ex husband /currant partner has no right to remain here so she says they'll just remarry. Of course that will give him rights over her assets- the business she's created and he tried to destroy before.

Today she shared that she's pregnant with #5, with this man, who she seems to have forgotten has already abandoned his family once before, having made them sell everything and move continents and then just left them, the youngest only a year old. And who said vile things to their eldest girl, and who's now-after only a few months of being back with her - succeeded in driving a wedge between her and her mum and sisters, and in getting her to move continents for the third time in 5 years, and she's paying for all of it. And now she's pregnant again to him.

This news today has really upset me. He seems so controlling, she seems so chaotic but unable or unwilling to learn just to be independent, and it just looks like she and her kids will be trapped in a situation where again their lives can be thrown into turmoil at any moment. And I can't say or do anything because our "connection" is barely a connection.

OP posts:
worldshottestmom · 23/06/2026 21:26

This isn't a car crash in slow motion, it's a lorry crash going up in flames while she stands there pouring oil all over it.

Block button? If there's nothing you can do to stop it, just don't have anything to do with it all. I would message her gently telling her that she needs to get a grip of her life for her children's sake, if she cares about them at all. Something tells me she would probably just block/ignore you and carry on living this disaster of a life. Let the chicks fall where they may.

ViciousCurrentBun · 23/06/2026 21:29

I have a friend who has ping ponged about in the most unsuitable relationships. Some of it is so peculiar it would sound made up. I have known her for almost 40 years. Some people just end up living a chaotic life.

LouiseMadetheBestBroccoliPasta · 23/06/2026 21:38

ViciousCurrentBun · 23/06/2026 21:29

I have a friend who has ping ponged about in the most unsuitable relationships. Some of it is so peculiar it would sound made up. I have known her for almost 40 years. Some people just end up living a chaotic life.

Yeah. My father and sister were like that. Just one insane and often self-inflicted disaster after the other.

I got off the chaos merry-go-round by leaving the entire continent.

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