Has a friend's cheating changed how you see them and their relationship?

[LuLu345678]

Has a friend cheating changed your friendship?

Has anyone here had a friend confess to cheating on their parter (physically and / or emotionally) and has it changed your relationship with them? If so how? And if it didn’t change your relationship with your friend, why not? Especially if you particularly liked their partner that they cheated on.

my friend of a couple of years has been with her gf for a year. She was single and very unlucky in love before meeting her for many years. Her gf is so lovely and totally in love with my friend. She is the best girl I’ve ever seen her with. There were a couple of times where I found myself sticking up for the gf when my friend snapped at her or upset her. This girl is a fair bit younger than us.

my friend has been caught sexting one of her toxic exes behind the gfs back, apparently caught by my friend opening the phone and the message being there. The gf broke it off but now a couple of weeks later they are back together.

I don’t know what to think. I’m also feeling a bit awkward about seeing them both in a couple of weeks.

My then best friend was having an affair with another friend's DH - we were all part of a small circle of school parents and I'd had a horrid feeling something was going on. I stupidly voiced this and became their confidante... all while having to still socialise in a group with their mutual spouses. It of course all exploded and left 2 broken families in its wake... and I just couldn't be around it afterwards. She took it very badly. I think that once you see someone's true self, there's no putting that back into the box again.

Yeah. I just distance myself sharpish. Better that than take part in the deceit.

Yes. I think less of someone who I know has had an affair. It's a shitty thing to do and demonstrates a lack of integrity.

If the spouse of the person who had the affair has decided to make a go of it regardless then depending on the circumstances I might try to move past it for their sake but I'd certainly never look at the one who had the affair in the same light. But equally I might not; I would, and have, ended friendships over affairs. It all depends on the situation.

My sil is having an affair with a neighbour. Her dh got prostate cancer and the treatment made him impotent, it wasn’t long before she was looking to “get her needs met”. It’s as grim as it sounds, and worse because we’ve been on holiday with her, her dh and her kids several times

Yes. I found out my friend had been having an affair for months, meanwhile meeting his wife regularly as they worked adjacently to each other. She couldn’t claim to have been fed any lines about them being separated etc. 4 kids involved, 2 on each side. The married couple had split just before I found out and friend was as pleased as punch, clearly thought she’d won (as if he was a prize).

I haven’t spoken to her since. Our moral compasses obviously don’t point in the same direction and I lost all respect for her.

Your friend has shown you exactly how she is. A cheat, liar, dishonest, without integrity, unfaithful and no dignity. Do you want to be friends with a person like this?

I have a couple of friends who have had affairs, hasn’t changed what I think about them in the slightest. I’m not the morality police, not do I think it’s the worst thing you can do to a person (not a popular MN opinion)

One of them, the husband never found out.

One of them, they split for a while, he then found out she had had the affair, they then got back together, and have been fine ever-since (that was about 10 years ago). TBF the pre-affair relationship was fairly toxic, and the affair helped them fix it.

One of them, he left his long term partner, married her, and they have been happily married for 22 years.