How do people deal with noisy beds?!

[Twentyfiveseven]

This sounds mad but how do couples with kids deal with sex in noisy beds?! Our oldest child is 10. We are very good at doing it discreetly and quietly, and have a locked door to our bedroom. And until recently he's been well asleep by the time we go to bed anyway.
But he is going to sleep a bit later now and there have been times when I've not been sure he's asleep but DH and I have wanted to go to bed together.
We can and do control ourselves. We agreed to try and be as silent as possible, and we are. But the bed! My God! It just squeaks and I am so self conscious of it. There's no headboard banging or anything, it's just the springs or something and in the night when it's quiet I am absolutely convinced DS can hear. Do we have to do it on the floor? What do other people do?!
The obvious thing would be to get a new bed but I honestly think they are all like that. I have even tested it on a couple of recent hotel trips (just moving around by myself). Should I stop worrying? Is there a solution??

Get a decent bed and make sure all the screws etc are tight! Ours doesn’t squeak!

You could get a divan. They have less to squeak.

I've got a wooden bed frame with a slatted base and a good mattress. It is not that noisy.

Get a bed with no springs. Ours doesn’t squeak at all.

Do you know the noise travels outside the room. One of you stand in Ds bedroom and the other bounce the mattress and see if it can be heard.

Memory foam mattress. No springs to squeak.

Divan beds are silent.

Thanks. Ours isn't a divan. I don't know if the noise travels but I am paranoid about it! In the silence at night it sounds noisier than a jet engine to me! In reality it probably isn't but it's just a worry. Maybe I just need to get over it (or buy a divan!).

Oh hell - I used to hear my parents' squeaky bed springs on the rare occasions they were speaking to each other! So embarrassing!

I'd replace it.

Copious WD40 on all the joints. Apply, utilise, apply again.

Is it an Ikea MALM? They are notoriously squeaky! If you take it apart and put a thin piece of plastic, paper or craft foam between all the wood/metal joints then put it back together again, it will stop squeaking.

Perhaps in PSHE classes, we need to teach that about 10% Europeans were conceived on IKEA beds.

Yes! DS was actually conceived on an IKEA bed 🫣.
My current one isn't IKEA but I can't actually remember where we got it from now.

Sounds like you need a new bed. Our bed is pocket sprung on a divan.