How do I detach from a situationship 😫

[Doomgloom41]

Ok let me start by saying I am fully aware of how pathetic I am! 😂. I’m divorced. Husband had an affair. I matched with someone on the dating apps and I can’t even call it a situationship. It’s sex. Absolutely amazing sex. However, this has been going on for TWO years now 🤦🏼‍♀️. I’ve told him many times I’m looking for a proper relationship and not just sex. He avoids and ignores the message or changes the subject. I can’t seem to let go because the bedroom chemistry is insane!!
But I know I need to as in the long run, I’m just hurting myself as I feel I am ready to meet someone and have a proper relationship. Issue is nobody wants me 😂

Sincerely,

Ms Utterly Pathetic 😂

You need a cold turkey solution.

Find a moment of strength block then delete (from everything) .

Then stay busy
Gym, friends more OLD ....whatever

Only you can change this, you’re talking like it’s something outside of your control, but it isn’t. He isn’t going to suddenly change his mind. To his mind it doesn’t really matter if SAY you want a relationship, because he’s reaping the benefits of casual sex (nothing wrong with casual sex but it is what it is, it’s not going to suddenly become a relationship).

Totally agree. It’s all on me. Hence the ‘pathetic’ sign off!!

I agree you have to go cold turkey. He will never see you as long term relationship material. It’s been 2 years.

Can you continue the situationship while you look for a proper relationship? (BTW, I don't have an answer. I have a guy I keep getting back in contact with because sex is amazing, even though he's an arse. The struggle is real!)

It’s not pathetic, we’ve all been there 😅

But the only thing you can do is end it and block him if you want more than the sex from him.

How do you know if he's single or not...

I’m kind of finding myself in a similar place- although with a much different back story.

how old are you op and what are you aiming for?

you’re definitely right to focus on having a healthy and fulfilled relationship.

all I was coming on to say is would you be crazy to give up amazing sex?

do some people spend ages looking for that and not finding it?

I’m in my 50s and had a completely sexless marriage for approx 20 years.

now I’m having mind blowing sex every day if I want - usually every second day. The relationship we’re in has fallen down around my ears somehow, but we’re still clinging on for the awesome sex really.

I do think I’m really lucky to have that. But probably not the ideal situation, but also old age is looming so should I just enjoy myself while I can?

but in your situation, could you have an open discussion- say you’re prioritising a relationship, but feel you can call him up in a year or two if that doesn’t work out??

im probably not qualified to give life or relationship advice 🤣

Go cold turkey, don’t waste any more years on this situation. Life is precious.

Hahaha. I guess you will have to seduce him into loving you more than just sexually. Good sex is half way in the door.

Can I just say congratulations on your having great sex. Fill your boots! But if you’re looking for more, it’s time to exit your situationship and move on to something better that fulfils you.

Put him out of your head and move on. You know you can be good to yourself.

I’m in the same boat, decided to get back on the apps in the hope of meeting someone, but keep having the situationship sex.. cause it’s great!

Lol I definitely don't think you are pathetic. Also been in similar boat before when I split up from my previous partner. Was clear with fwb what I wanted and he agreed but after a while he definitely was giving signs of wanting more. I tried ending it with him then but kept going back to him because I just wanted the sex

I've re-valued my life goals and I need to pursue a romantc relationship. Thanks for the time you've spent with me. I wish you happiness moving forward.

All sounds good and I've tried this, but fast forward two weeks when you're horny and you know he is one text away