Loneliest girl in the world

[justbatteringon]

I just feel like the loneliest girl in the world atm
Like a billy no mates i will say I’m probably more fortunate than some but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel lonely.

I don’t even know what I want to get from this post just maybe to feel like I’m not so alone

I have a partner but I feel like I’m depending too much on him emotionally (we don’t live together)

I have a sister but she lives on the other end of the country
and that’s about it…
I have old friends and family but I feel like I reach out to them but they’ve little to no interest in me unless they need something or they include me in things out of guilt

I struggle to get out and meet new people, because of my kids I can’t really go join new hobbies although I am pushing myself to go out with a local group in the morning but I’ve gone out with them before and I just feel like we’ve nothing in common

Where can I find my people, who are my people I don’t even know myself

Sorry you are feeling lonely OP it can be very hard if you feel you lack connection. I would say persevere with the local group, you never know you might meet someone who you feel is on your wavelength.
You say you have a partner, does he live fairly close to you? Can you plan some nice things to do together, something that would lift your spirits? If your children are young would your family babysit perhaps so you can have some time to yourself? Just a few tweaks can make a big difference.

Why do you feel you depend too much on your partner?

You are right and I do need to make some tweaks

I think I’ve been triggered today an extended family member had a big birthday party which my close family members were invited to and I suppose I just felt a bit left out

There’s no reason why I should of been invited but it still stung a little…

I suppose he’s the only person I’ve spoken to this week, I don’t want my life to revolve around him

I’m sorry to hear this OP. Loneliness is (ironically) common I think. I feel the same way. I bumped into an old work colleague a while ago who invited me to an event in town today. I was so excited, I never get invited to anything (unless it’s my DH’s friends, and even then that’s not often). I actually booked a hotel (I live an expensive taxi ride away) and sorted my outfit and everything, only to get here, text said colleague to ask where they were and I heard precisely nothing in reply all day. I had to take up comfort shopping to have something to do, I’m now in my hotel room doomscrolling ☹️

So many questions so we can advise. Let's start with a few. Do you work? How many children do you have and how old are they? did you have lots of frineds before you had children? have you moved area?

@InTheVanguard she knows you booked a hotel and everything right? That is shocking.

I can only say I know how you feel to the lonely people

I will say, I don't have a partner either

But I wasn't anticipating all my friends disappearing for one reason or another. I didn't particularly want a partner.

I'm currently on my holiday on my own. I'm making the best of it, but it's not necessarily my first choice.

I did have a weekend away with a friend earlier in the year but she's unable to come this time. Also, I don't think she really fancied it - it's a quiet one.

I managed to find stuff to do the last two nights, but it's always horrible being the only single person there or the only person without a friend. People make a point of saying good morning to me at breakfast because I'm on my own.

@InTheVanguard see that’s the type of thing that makes me stay home I’m so sorry to hear that.

@CleanandLight109
i recently went back to work after being off for a few months mostly because i was so lonely. I work 2 days a week with some lovely girls, but they don’t really have any interest in doing anything outside work…
I have 2 special needs children they’re 11 and 13 the 11 year old is non verbal

I wouldn’t say I had lots of friends I feel like I had a large group of people I associated with and a smaller friend group most of which have moved away.

I still live in the same area I grew up in
to answer all your questions 😊

Oh darling OP. I asked a few questions but all of them are overridden by the information about your DC. This is so isolating and changes everything in your life including the ease of making Mum friends 🥰. It is so hard. I don't have SEN children but DD1 made a great friends with a child in her class with SEN and I saw how generally shit many parents were with including him and by extension his Mum, the excuses were numerous but at the end of the day it boiled down to they just didn't bloody want to make the effort.
Of course, it also restricts your ability to go out and be more social as just at this point, with an 11 and 13 year old, is when a lot of parents are leaving their DC alone for an hour and popping out for a drink etc.
So advice - Could you suggest a lunch with a work colleague? Reach out to some of the friends that are further away and suggest X/Y/Z? Is there any other parent in either of the DC classes that might fancy a coffee?
Can I also say in case you think this sense of isolation is somehow your fault this is not your fault Please feel free to pm me if you ever fancy an online friend andd depending on where you are an in person one.

I assume you had arranged a time and meeting place..... plus confirmed the day before?

OP you are definitely not alone.
So many people feel this way. This modern age is incredibly isolating.
@InTheVanguard that is awful behaviour from your colleague, I hope you're ok. 😟

I absolutely don’t want to hijack the OP’s thread, but yes, all confirmed yesterday except meeting point, as it was going
to be a relaxed afternoon of drinks/food, so I was going to join where my friend and others were, when I got there.

Seems like it’s a common type of issue for
women… 💕

That is absolutely horrible of them. Am so sorry 😞

@InTheVanguard hijack away, that is awful they’ve made those plans and just left you without an explanation

@CleanandLight109 this is a problem with the SEN school my children go to it’s very isolating you don’t really do drop offs and pick ups there isn’t really an opportunity to meet other parents and the ones that I have met and I say this as kindly as I can do seem to have their own neurodivergent personalities that don’t lend themselves to wanting to pursue friendships not only that but they’re busy with their children

I think I am going to reach out to an old friend and see if they’d like to meet up.

I just feel like I’ve got to do everything on my own, I take myself to the cinema, walks and coffees just to get out

although I do have a partner, he works full time, has his own children and helps care for family he makes time for me but I’m still alone quite a lot and although my children are with me they’re in their own little worlds with no interest in me or mine. My family don’t involve me with their kids, I found out they planned a tea party with the cousins and didn’t even mention it to me until after

@justbatteringon I totally understand that you're hurt about the party. 💐

@InTheVanguard just radio silence after all that organisation? I wonder if something big happened

Have a look to see if there's a Parent / Carer forum group near you.often lots of support for SEND families. Good opportunity to meet others who get it.

It is so isolating.

God it is rubbish for you OP.
That thing with your family is exactly the same thing that happened with DD's friend and his Mum - excluded for numerous reasons which honestly were summed up by they couldn't be bothered.
Do reach out to your old friend x
Btw extra rubbish as I assumed that your partner was DC's father - so that adds a layer of complication too. Let me guess your DC's father never has them for a few days/hours/ever so you get a proper break?

I have a Sen 12 year old and a toddler and feel the same where abouts in the country are you ? Would love to meet for a coffee or something

@justbatteringon
It can be so isolating when your children have SEN. Let’s just say you find out who your friends are!
Are there any courses for parents or groups where you could meet other parents with children with similar needs? Check of your LA SEN Local Offer.
Are there any opportunities to get involved in school ( I know you work) where you could meet other parents?

Thank you, @YourRubyMaker I’m in Northern Ireland

i did reach out to my friend and we’re going for dinner next week so that’ll be nice

i do have to say my children’s dad is very good and will keep them if i need him to, (in my house though) I know I’m more fortunate than some.

I’ve tried going to groups and meeting new people I just really struggle to move past the meet ups into forming any kind of friendships

maybe it’s me, I’m not sure, maybe I’m just someone that’s not interesting enough..,

I had a therapist a few months ago and she encouraged me to get out more and try to meet new people, get back into work