Advice please

[Carls1001]

my Husband and I had a disagreement this morning. Due to me asking what the plans were, he said I’m supposed to be taking my son his step son rock climbing. He hinted he couldn’t be bothered and I said well why did you agree and it would be unfair to let him down. He then got really angry with me, called me loads of names then said I was really ugly without makeup on. This really hurt but I can’t help wondering if I pressured him into going because then my son said well he didn’t say yes he said maybe? I really feel upset he called me ugly. I’ve been really struggling with my appearance as it is. Am I right to he upset as now he’s not talking to me. I know I shouldn’t have made it a big deal about taking my son climbing and I was rude in saying about down let him down and he’s starting to sound like his dad who he told me never really did much with him. What should I do? He’s always got the hump with me about something. Always saying I’m annoying. We have been together for 6 years. Just after some advice

He sounds like he hates you. You deserve much better. 💐

This phrase is often overused here but I will say it LTB. How discusting of him, total pig.

next time he’s cruel say ‘stop trying to argue longer than you can last’

I think you might be right, I often say this to him and he says no you’re just really annoying….

Do you know why he hates you so much, please leave him, women need good men around them not someone who calls you ugly x

Do you want to be with someone who openly tells you they find you annoying and ugly? He sounds like a bully x

Why would you want to be with someone who says you're ugly? For goodness sake, get rid of him! What a tosser 😠

Name calling in any argument or disagreement is abuse, you can look this up to confirm it but the argument is meant to be about the situation that caused it, not the past, not a character assassination. He then moved onto personal appearance.

If he dislikes you this much you have to ask yourself why he is still with you. The answer is because you are his emotional punching bag and to make himself feel better he has to put someone else down.

I would absolutely look into the practicalities of how to leave this relationship as he is killing your self esteem.

He got angry - not acceptable
He called you loads of names - not acceptable
He called you ugly without makeup - not acceptable.
He let his step son down after (half ?) promising him an outing, purely because he could no longer be bothered - sad. You say he hinted that he couldn't be bothered? If you hadn't argued would here have woken up more and taken him? Or is this normal behaviour?

Thank you everyone for your advice and listening to me. I have often wondered why someone would want to be with me for so long if I’m that bad. Thank you for making me feel like this is his issue and not Mine. I suppose after many years of self doubt, it becomes easy to think I’m the problem. He’s always very highly strung with me. I do have a lot of my own issues but I do my very best. I just feel really sad and even more ugly than I did before this morning. I just needed to clarify that it wasn’t warranted. He still took him rock climbing but I have now got to listen to him saying how I always dictate to him what his plans are. Which isn’t completely true. But then I get the cold shoulder. Should I match his behaviour and ignore him too? If I mention he upset me, he will just say I annoyed him and he always says things in anger which leaves me no where to go without. I want him to understand it’s not okay but I never get that point across. Thanks again ladies!

So the person who's meant to love you the most in the world used your insecurity as a weapon during an argument. He knew what would hurt you and he pulled it out. I dont know if you're annoying maybe you are. Im sure there are loads of annoying stuff about him as well. The difference is he's nasty and spiteful. You know its not going to get any better. Just dump his arse. You'll be happier single.

If I mention he upset me, he will just say I annoyed him and he always says things in anger which leaves me no where to go without. I want him to understand it’s not okay but I never get that point across.

It's not that he doesn't understand that it's not OK.

It's that he doesn't care.

He's fine with hurting you emotionally.

What a prick. I guess he’ll be eating a takeaway tonight then. If my partner called me ugly even once I’d be taking a wider look at the situation. He obviously wants you to feel crappy about yourself to make himself feel better. That doesn’t sound healthy.