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Have you left your relationship due to alcohol

4 replies

Susa1 · 18/06/2026 22:58

Anyone else left their partner due to not liking who they are when they drink?

my partner doesn’t drink much it’s every few months but when he does he’s a horrible drunk he acts like a different person and I’ve asked him to not drink at all and he says ok then does it. Like everytime he’s away with work he always has a drink at the airport on the way home and either doesn’t come in or comes home early hours as he’s carried it on to town. I just don’t want it anymore and am planning on ending the relationship as doesn’t matter if he doesn’t drink for months he always does again.

Anyone else been in this situation

OP posts:
Sunandsunshine · 18/06/2026 23:10

I left my first H because of alcohol OP.

But the issue was slightly different in that right from when I first met him he was a very heavy drinker and I got sucked into his world. All our friends were heavy drinkers and alcohol was central to our lives. I came fo the realisation this wasn't the life I wanted and that alcohol was going to kill me if I didn't leave. So after another heavy night's drinking I literally just walked out.

But the principal is the same in that your life isbeing badly affected by alcohol and you need to free yourself from it's destructive effects on your life.

So yes I think for your own future happiness splitting from your partner is what you need to do. Because he won't change until he sees he has a problem. He us the only one who can fix himself. You need to prioritise yourself OP.

Susa1 · 19/06/2026 00:45

I have decided I am leaving soon as I am
financially secure. He’s came in acting all nice then calls a family member who starts saying to him are you happy with her the goes on to talk about how much she loved his wedding that was 15 years ago to his ex wife and how they made a beautiful couple and the castle and pictures where the best etc so inappropriate while I was sitting there and he didn’t say a word am so upset we have been together 6 years and I have been nothing to him. I’ve now set up my own business which is slowly taking off so I can’t wait to get away from him and never have to feel like this again. I started in January as that was the last time he had a drink and was cruel and I made a plan to be self sufficient to never depend on him.

I am so glad you got away and got a new life

OP posts:
Vividdreamsandnightmares · 19/06/2026 01:20

I am seriously considering leaving my partner because of what I consider to be an unhealthy relationship with alcohol - she seems to be unable to go a single day without a drink or two, regularly has a drink mid morning on a Saturday or Sunday, often brings a glass of wine or can of lager up to bed at night, always wants to stop at a pub if we have been out somewhere and has, rather proudly, told me some of the things she has done in the past, when drunk - wetting the bed, urinating in public, urinating in the ottoman in her spare room, having mistaken it for the toilet, and, with her friend, and when she was single, going round all the pubs in town, at Christmas, or when the rugby was in town, or at the races 'snogging' as she puts it, "all the good looking men". Her two closest friends ( a couple) are heavy drinkers and make light of, and joke about, their alcohol consumption. I once asked them if they were considering doing 'stoptober' and was instantly shut down with "we don't do that shit!".

Admittedly I have never seen her, nor would ever want to, in a drunken state, but, as a consequence of being brought up in a household with an alcohol dependant parent I am very cautious, wary and watchful around alcohol. A previous partner was also a secret drinker until she ended up in hospital with acute pancreatitis, was in ICU for a fortnight and nearly died, so my experiences with alcohol have always been negative and I am unsure if I am showing an unconscious bias and possibly seeing 'problems' which are not there, but I cannot, and will not, have a drinker in my life.

Susa1 · 19/06/2026 01:54

I totally see where you are coming from. I don’t like alcohol I used to have a drink now and then on special occasions but I haven’t in over 6 years I think watching how it turned him put me off it’s poison. Sober he is lovely but drunk he is the cruelest person and I just don’t ever feel settled cause there is always a next time. Do whatever feels right for you 💕

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