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Was this a type of abuse?

3 replies

Chefpig · 18/06/2026 18:07

With my ex, there were times when he'd be out of work due to him being in a car accident (taxi driver). I was on a teeny wage at the time, definitely not enough to pay all the bills and even though he was earning around three times more than I was, he insisted on me paying half of all bills.

Anyway, he had about three car accidents in the ten years we were together. During the time his car was off the road because of this, I'd get huge anxiety about how we were going to pay the bills and when I asked him, he'd say he didn't know. I'd also ask him to get another temporary role to tide us over, but he refused.

What I didnt know at the time was he had tens of thousands of pounds in the bank to fall back on. Savings that he could access at anytime.

Was this abuse knowing I had huge anxiety about the bills each time this happened?

OP posts:
Byjoveilasted · 18/06/2026 18:12

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maryshelleyyy · 18/06/2026 18:14

Yes, I would say so. Seems to me that he was protecting his interests all along and dare I say might have even enjoyed seeing you be stressed about it knowing that he was okay. If he knew it was an anxiety issue for you and he never let on that there was money (let alone use it for any of those bills) then that’s a very specific and nasty choice for him to have made. I’m sorry you went through that.

Thisnamenowagain · 18/06/2026 18:21

Yes. Sorry. It does sound like abuse.

He kept a secret from you, hid money from you and let you suffer from unnecessary anxiety.

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