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Relationships

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How to handle husband reverting to old patterns with his parents

26 replies

Lovingaloser · 17/06/2026 20:34

NC for this.
DH staying with PIL for a month (new job) - we haven’t relocated yet so this kind of works.PIL are in late 80s no health issues, v comfortably off, lots of leisure activities, etc. V happy to have him but history of being manipulative / controlling / demanding with all 3 DC and adult DGC - apron strings still firmly fixed and both foul tempered if their expectations aren’t met! At a distance, he can hold boundaries. I’ve no friends or family locally. Last week, I asked if he’d be ok calling me w/out causing a drama - no problem DH said.
Just called him - he was behaving like he had left a sink overflowing! He’d run upstairs to take my call and couldn’t get away fast enough. I made him stop and calm down to explain what was happening. DH said he’s ’too stressed trying to please DP’ and me. Reminded him that I am his wife. He dashed off to be with them. No idea how to handle this. Apols for the long post.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 17/06/2026 23:57

What are you getting out of this relationship now?. You gave up a house and moved countries for him?!. Who suggested living with these people at all let alone for that length of time given the red flags?.

What happens when the month is up?. Where does he go then?.

Your DH is totally enmeshed with his parents, mother in particular. This is not going to end at all well for either you or he and he needs therapy. His inertia also when it comes to his parents hurts him as much as you.

It is clear why these other women left him; they were all tired of playing second fiddle in their marriage to his parents like you are doing now

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