How do I manage co-parenting when my ex refuses communication?

[Shortsharptap]

Ex and I are going through divorce. CAO now in place.

Ex has been abusive towards me but it was found irrelevant and so we have a 60/40 split (60 to me).

He just completely refuses to speak to me. He ignore my messages about everything, even health matters.

We have two young DC, how on earth do I manage this?

He said in court he didn’t want to coparent and they said that’s fine but it’s not them living with this!

My ex was like this , barely communicated I would be ignored even on important issues . Very frustrating, is he doing this to retain some power over you ? I’m pretty sure that’s what my ex was up to . I would just set the contact dates out and drop kids off or have them ready for collection at those times .

3rd party?

I believe that there is some type of app you can get - will he communicate through that?

Or perhaps you just communicate to him what you need him to know? And expect no response

If a court makes a decision and you then are not carrying out by wilful non-communication, could that be argued to be contempt of court?

I don't see third party as an option. The easiest third party to use would be his workplace, however that is unreasonable to his work colleagues and none of their business.

Parallel parenting? Is he keeping to his side of the CAO? Dropping them off when he has to, collecting them etc? How old are the DC?

All communication in writing only with a read receipt option.
if worried about health and need to break order document in advance and offer replacement time.
don't do anything to obstruct but also nothing additional to facilitate contact
Communicate directly with schools and any other third parties, if necessary go in at break or lunch to administer medication etc
it gets easier as they get older

Download a parenting app and if he refuses to engage ask court to order it

We are using an app, court ordered but he still ignores me.

Contact times are being stuck to.

DC are finding it hard, two completely different households and routines.

DC are KS1/reception age

Does he ignore you on logistics as well? Co-parenting with an abusive ex is never going to work well. If routine is being stuck to, just inform him of things he needs to know and let him sort things when they are at his place. Diff houses/routines, most of us have to make our peace with. Kids will adjust. Sorry you are going through this, but trust me it is better than post-separation verbal and emotional abusive behaviour.

Anything like holiday arrangement, etc is just really hard work. Ignored, told what I need to do and what’s happening.

He refuses to communicate on health issues too.

Likes an untruth about DC as well.

Have you tried doing the same to him? They are with you 60% of the time so this will be worse for him than for you.

I don’t really want to stoop to his level…

And I’ll be leapt on for alienation