How can I move on after a situationship after divorce ended?

[ChasingDaydreams]

I left an abusive marriage and got divorced 5 years ago. Ended up in a "situationship" for about a year. He has ended that and is now in a relationship. I'm broken. It's been 3 months now and I still feel sick, can't eat properly, think about him all the time. I don't know what's wrong with me. Does anyone have any advice about how to get over this. I'm desperate.

Time. The first relationship of any kind after divorce can leave you feeling like this. I remember it well.

Sadly if you are feeling this way while you tagged it a situationship in reality your feeelings felt it was more. Often the first relationship post divorce can end up being too intense. All you can do is breathe , and take it day by day, one step at a time. It wasn’t right if he has found someone else so actually he has done you a favour stepping away before you got too involved. It will get better just takes time and you recognising if he did this now it is better than if you were exclusive. Always dangerous to be in a situationship if you aren’t both fully on board with that arrangement.

Sorry to hear you're going through this. I can relate - after I separated from my emotionally abusive husband, I had a "relationship" for a year with a guy (I say "relationship" in quotation marks as it was all online, he was in another country, we never even met!🙈). But I was so emotionally attached and in love with him. When he told me that he'd met someone else I was so devastated and heartbroken. More than I was over the ending of my 20 year marriage
But I actually think that meeting him had delayed the grief of my marriage ending and then I felt it all at once.

I think if we've been in an abusive marriage and then we meet someone who seems to really like us and "see" us, it's easy to become very attached to them, as it's like a part of us may have felt starved of that in our marriage. Maybe that's one reason why the first relationship after a marriage break up can be so intense.

It's so difficult to go through this. What helped me was therapy, seeing friends and family, lots of journalling, walking etc. And time is definitely the main thing - you will feel better in the future, it can just feel very hard to get through at the moment.

I had this, I remember feeling absolutely crushed.
Probably the worst I’ve felt in my adult life. Whatever I did, wherever I was, I felt this profound emptiness.
We did end up back together, and after a year or so I ended things as I sort of came out of the fog of thinking he was a decent choice of partner. It’s been nearly a year now and I feel fine, back to normal. You will get there, it just takes time.
But beware these sorts do tend to pop up again somewhere along the way.

I echo previous posters. There will be something in this break up that will be accessing a layer of grief of the previous one.

It's tried and tested methods to get through it I'm afraid - sleep, rest, exercise, nutrition and being very kind to yourself.

You have survived a lot, and your nervous system has taken a beating.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and often abusive marriages find their threads in early childhood experiences, so it'll perhaps be stirring up a lot.

Also I bet you are an absolute fox and deserve someone who can properly commit.