Dating at 40: should I consider younger men after disappointment?

[TheLobsterClub]

Please tell me there is hope!

40 years old, single since last October. That relationship was with a friend who became more but it was apparent that we weren’t compatible other than as friends. The sex for the most part was absolutely fantastic but I definitely didn’t make the most of it, I had a hysterectomy during and was also taking antidepressants which killed my libido and my ability to orgasm. However I’m now on HRT including testosterone and feeling much better!

I’m actively dating but perpetually disappointed. I’ve slept with 3 guys I’ve dated this year (no judgement please) and none of them have been able to get and/or maintain an erection, or have just been totally absorbed in their own pleasure.

however, I’m currently abroad on holiday and actually slept with someone the other night who was 26. Total holiday thing no plans to stay in touch etc but WOW - I feel alive again.

am I really going to have to go for younger men now? Or am I just meeting the wrong men? I worry about the younger man thing - I usually get told I look about 30 but I don’t want to be seen as a predator plus most will want kids eventually…

I mean, it depends what you're after. If you just want sex, are okay not having a full relationship, and want people without past-relationship scars/baggage, then going for young people probably makes sense.

I'm a lot older than my husband, and I don't really care what other people think about it.
If you meet someone and they're younger, just go for it and have a good time. As long as they're a fully grown consenting adult of course.

Im a fair bit older than my DP and im 41 so similar age to you.
Not all men in their late 20s are just after a shag or want kids or want to get married. So it really depends on the individual rather than their age.

We have been together for nearly 2 years and its the most fulfilling, honest and committed relationship ive ever been in....he is an old soul and im a younger one, we have similar interests and he loves my children (but never wanted any) nor does he believe in marriage (suits me 😂) he genuinely thought hed stay single all his life as he wasnt interested in girls around his age, and didnt want kids or marriage.

Ppl can be VERY opinionated on age gaps and it is more accepted when the man is older....we dont give a flying f*ck what peopls think, but my point to you is dont label people due to age......its easy to stereotype but my DP is more mature, emotionally intelligent, and more of a grafter than most of the men I know in their 40s

Men never this question!

Yes, go for the younger, more virile men please.

A lot of men don’t have a burning desire to have kids. They just do it because their partner wants them.

Unless you're going after teenagers, you're fine

As long as you accept the situations and you are both consenting adults then I don't see a massive issue.

I've had a few things with men in their late 20s (about 13 years younger), but sadly they didn't provide anything better than any older men in the bedroom as I think so many have been around pornography so much that they just expect to recreate what they see.
However they do tend to be much more keen on your independence and confidence. Conversation is more vibrant and engaging. I've found half the older blokes want a woman to "take care of", aren't really keen on females being equal to them.
I think I've just been unfortunate as I don't believe all men are like this.