How do you go about divorce when you have no idea where to start?

[3tumsnot1]

Need to leave my husband and don’t know how to go about it. Is there anyone that you can see like a councillor or someone to get you over the line? I constantly think about leaving, then there will be some minor improvement in closeness then back to shit again. I ok have very few friends to discuss with so no support there either.

I can’t even work out how to start. We have 3 kids, 13-10 they will be devastated.

If you're genuinely clueless then a solicitor might be easiest approach. But I'd encourage you to do some further research and try to do more yourself.

Divorce is 3 things
legal end of marriage -- formfilling mostly. can do it online at gov.uk
arrangements for children
financial split

You'll be encouraged to try to agree things with your current husband, if possible. For a lengthy marriage there's an assumption that splitting things 50/50 is often appropriate, or a starting point, but may need to be varied to ensure children are looked after.

Probably need to post more details, and maybe post in the divorce and separation area of mumsnet.

BE prepared for an emotional rollercoaster and a long process.

I'd recommend talking to a therapist, on your own, to at least sort out your thoughts on a sounding board first.

Doing this kind of thing alone, even if it's the right thing to do, will end up being far more painful that it needs to be.

Thanks both, didn't realise there is divorce area will check this out snd start preparing myself.

I started with a therapist and it helped finalise my decision. Then I spoke to a legal firm who outlined to me what I needed to do. Then I spoke to a mortgage broker to work out what I could afford alone.