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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bad moods

8 replies

lauribec · 14/06/2026 09:40

13 years, 3 kids. Feeling so fed up. Always on edge never knowing whats going to happen, he will kick off over the slightest of things. This won’t ever change will it?

This morning I was pinning out washing (he’d previously phoned me to say youngest DC wanted me whilst I was out walking the dog - she wanted more milk in her bottle which he could have easily done if he’d got out of bed!) he came out to the line to ask me to come in to be with the youngest DC (2) And I replied that I just needed to pin these 5 pillowcases out first.

He storms off into the house angrily stating how he works every hour of the week and slams/hits something. He is a hard worker and I never say otherwise! But he likes to bring it up.

I pin the cases and go up to where DC is playing. He’s in a mood not talking to me so I go into one of the kids bedrooms and start putting away clothes. I can hear him making comments to DC such as “Daddy has to go hoover now, apparently mummy can never do it” etc. He makes these indirect comments quite often.

I go downstairs to wipe down the kitchen and he then comes down too and states “DC is on their own up there!” Like yes, because you’ve left her alone!! And if something were to happen it would be my fault!

His moods totally destroy the atmosphere in the house. Sorry this is more just a rant!

OP posts:
CelticSilver · 14/06/2026 09:42

Hopefully this rant will be the beginning of some major changes. How many people do you need to tell you he's a knob and you should break up?

moderate · 14/06/2026 09:53

Maybe try marriage counselling before breaking up though.

InveterateBigot · 14/06/2026 09:57

Counselling for yourself @lauribec , couples counselling is a very bad idea when there's abuse.

lauribec · 14/06/2026 10:35

He’s come back from taking middle child out on the bikes, starts sending me AI images on WhatsApp acting like a regular person. Next thing I know he’s asking why there’s no bread, I reply that there’s no anything. He responds with “I’d love to know what you’re spending my money on!” And we haven’t spoken since. When he’s in a good mood it’s the “communal card” and I absolutely don’t take the mick. It’s used for shopping… 😫

OP posts:
InveterateBigot · 14/06/2026 11:39

starts sending me AI images on WhatsApp acting like a regular person

This is part of the cycle of abuse. He'll do or say something unreasonable to wind you up, you will ruminate on it and he will then act like nothing happened so you will end up wondering WTF all that was about. If you call him up on the bad thing he'll say you're crazy/abusive/whatever and it didn't happen. It's part of the headfuckery to make you think you're going out of your mind. And you will, eventually.

I'd seriously consider contacting Women's Aid or a similar organisation in your area if I were you, just to talk over his behaviour and get a bit of RL support.

Meantime I would recommend you learn the art of grey rock, don't rise to his bait, but do be careful because when they sense a change they will either start behaving very well (until the next time) or escalate. Keep your cards close to your chest and do not tell him you know what he's doing, that is very important.

I'm sorry you're going through this @lauribec , it's really shit Flowers

Decacaffeinatednow · 14/06/2026 11:43

You have been posting about him for a long time. He is abusive to you and your children. What will you do if one of the children discloses the abuse to a teacher?

Seriphiacandytotz · 14/06/2026 19:41

Does he drink does this contribute to his moods op?

Elieza · 14/06/2026 22:26

LTB

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