No longer staying silent over bad behaviour

[DaphneDahlia]

Just a vent and what would you do?

after decades of staying silent over others bad behaviour towards me, I’m no longer prepared to do this.

When with others who talk positively about those that have behaved badly, I find it hard to stay silent. This is completely new for me. If appropriate I raise that actually I don’t share the same positive feelings and explain about the bad behaviour.

However I then worry that I come across in a bad light or the person doesn’t believe me.

i know that I should take up the ban behaviour with the perpetrators but Know that it wit will not alter their behaviour.

I’m after some advice on how to cope with this. Anyone have any helpful tips?

I think more information would be helpful. Who are the badly behaved people and who are the other people you're speaking about? It's difficult to form an opinion based on what you've written.

@whippersnapper55 yes fair point. Just talking about bad behaviour with some people at work and an ex friend. When talking to other colleagues or other friends and the badly behaved person comes up in conversation, I can no longer sit and stay quiet while they spout positive stories about those people who have behaved badly.

I dunno, it doesn’t really appear like the way you’re steering the conversation is relevant or useful. If a college is talking about person X and telling a story about something nice they did and you come in and start telling unrelated negative stories you likely just come across as bitchy and meddling.

@Honeyhonayyes this is what I’m worried about.
I need to find a way to resolve this in my head. For some reason I can’t sit there and listen to someone praising or having concern for such awful people. It’s like my tolerance to bad behaved people has disappeared.

It won't do any good and makes you look bad.

They have a positive experience of the person.
You have a negative one.

Just as them recounting their positive take doesn't change your negative opinion, your negative opinion is very unlikely to change their positive opinion of the person.

What it will much more likely do is change their opinion of you. Especially since you're apparently doing it in response to positive comments about them.

If it's bothering you that much, journal or go to therapy to process these "bad behaviours" and their impacts on you.
Also work on your own boundaries, so that people don't get the opportunity to treat you badly.

But you'll only make yourself look bad
bad-mouthing others, no matter how justified you may feel it is.