When an heartbreaker ex suggests meeting up

[Xxo2]

I split with an ex boyfriend 8 years ago. It wasn't the longest relationship, just a year. He gave me the whole 'its not you its me' talk and dumped me back then, and within a few weeks I was made aware he had another girlfriend. Therefore lying to me when he broke up with me and saying he needed to be single.

I was really heartbroken (and he knew it) but eventually healed my heart. Their relationship lasted about 3 years and I get the impression from the cryptic things he put on social media at the time that it didn't end well. I also got into another relationship eventually but it ended a couple of years ago and have unsuccessfully online dating.

We are both currently on same dating website and he sent me a message on there saying how sorry he was to hurt me those years ago, that I was such a great person and that he'd love it if we could meet for a drink sometime.

I declined and wished him well and he replied that he wished me well also and never messaged again.

I don't understand the request to meet for a drink but I think I did the right thing considering how hurt I was those years ago. Part of me was curious of his intentions though?

Don’t do it!!!

What do you want to do?

You did the right thing in declining. He is bored and reaching out to rekindle something he had. He isn't a different person. He'd happily hurt you again if something shinier came along, he's already proven this to you.

I don't understand the request to meet for a drink but I think I did the right thing considering how hurt I was those years ago. Part of me was curious of his intentions though?

His intentions were completely self serving. He’s either lonely or bored and wanting to use you as a casual no strings attached bit of fun until he finds someone he really wants to be with.

There is no genuine remorse there for the way he treated you because, if there was, he would understand that he had treated you appallingly and that it would be very disrespectful to pop up in your life and casually ask if you fancied a drink some time. The fact that he felt ok to do that means that he’s putting his feelings before anything you might be feeling. Again.

His intentions are you are an easy (lazy) option to him.
If he hadn’t seen you on the dating app would he have ever thought to contact you.

Good on you for handling it with dignity, don’t give it any more space in your head.

I agree. I think if he genuinely felt he had let a good thing go, it wouldn't take him so long to be in touch. He has over the years attempted to facebook friend me and send messages saying he hoped I was ok, but I just deleted and blocked. This would be on average every 2 years so I don't think he feels any real sense of remorse or eager in anyway to prove anything to me.

He wants a quick shag........

I don't know you but I want to say how proud I am of you that you handled it so well. Please don't ever be tempted to give snakes like him another chance to hurt you. You should be so so proud of yourself for saying no and for having the grace to wish him well.

Yup. And you saying no, he’ll keep trying!

You definitely handled it well, I wish I did from bitter experience, an ex that’s broken your heart never has good intentions.

You've absolutely done the right thing. If I had to guess at his motivation, I'd say he's after a shag.