Is anyone really interested in you?

[MargoLivebetter]

Wasn't sure where to put this, but it cuts across all relationships, so I thought I'd stick it here.

Who do you think is genuinely interested in your life?

I'm not in a romantic or partnership relationship, so I don't have a significant other who I would expect to show some interest in my life. My mother is really ancient now and is incapable of being interested in anyone other than herself these days. She just wants an audience and an ear to listen to her. My DC are mid 20s and busy doing their own thing. We get on really well, and whilst they are polite and we chat a fair bit, I'm not sure they are really interested in me. I don't mean that they are callous or they don't care, but I just think they have too much going on themselves to be interested in me.

So, I was wondering if you aren't in a relationship, who is actually interested in your life?

I don't want a relationship and I'm not sure it even matters if anyone else is interested in other people's lives, but I did wonder today, who would actually give a monkey's one way or another about what I did. I can't decide if that is liberating or a bit sad.

I have some friends and people I know via volunteering and similar projects who are somewhat interested in me. Not in the way a partner is though. Family members are interested and caring when they are actually talking to me, but I doubt if they give me much thought between times, which is as it should be. They have their own lives.

DP, DD, my Dad (which is bizarre because he really couldn't have cared less for the first 30 years or so), my Mum when she was still around. My two best friends. They're the ones who are consistently interested.

And then theres one of DP's friends, who is the most consistently interested person in all of humanity, in everyone she ever meets. She properly listens, asks inciteful questions, which is talent enough, but then she'll randomly come out with "Oh, hows your aunt? The one that had knee surgery a couple of years ago, Brenda wasn't it?" She remembers everything. Its a level of interest that slightly terrifies me.

I’m in a relationship and I’d still say no!!

I'm single with no kids so no children or spouse to be interested. Parents, siblings, aunts and uncles all dead. Friends are interested to a certain extent, but they all have families or at least partners, so I'm very much an option rather than a priority. I have my best friend as my next of kin, but it feels odd, and I frequently go through Xmas or birthdays with nothing to open because "I'll give you your present when I next see you". It does hurt, and although I am content in my own company and are rarely lonely, I do feel very alone.

I’ve been thinking exactly the same thing recently as it was my birthday and to be honest I hate “special” days as I just don’t have anyone who is interested enough in me to make them special, although there are a couple of people that ought to. It occurred to me that my day to day life goes very in undocumented in anyone else’s mind but my own. That’s not a criticism, more an observation. There is no one who is interested in minutiae of the everyday.

Not quite sure how I feel following this internal revelation as I’m very happy in my own company and can’t believe there is anyone who would want me anyway.

be interested in your own life. Only way to become happy

My mum is elderly with numerous health problems but she's still interested in my life. I would say my close friends are too, my husband and my adult children. Yes, they're busy and have a lot going on but they will still ask me how things are going and show an interest in what I'm doing. I think that's pretty normal isn't it?

Ive been single many years. Dad has Dementia and my mums just not interested.

My dc are busy with their families and jobs.

No one's interested in my life but I dont expect anyone to be interested as in all honesty, my life is incredibly boring.

Liberating

My dsis is always interested in me and vice versa. And I have a couple of friends who are very supportive

Otherwise, no, I'm single and I doubt anyone is interested. Dm is dead, and my ds is about to go to uni so the rest of his world is much more interesting.

My partner and my mum, and a couple of close friends

My husband, children and siblings are interested in me (I think).

My children are still primary age, so I'm sure there will come a time when they are not interested in me at all!

Very interesting thread.
I would turn it round and say who are you interested in?
Because it’s reciprocal.
I have good friends who I am interested in and who are interested in me.
I am in a relationship with someone who is certainly more interested than my ex husband of 25 years was.
But who are YOU interested in?

My best friend is interested - but I return the favour by being interested in her life too. My kids are interested in the high-profile, 'out in the public eye' bits and anything that indicates their poor ancient mother isn't festering sadly alone in her chair. But again, I am interested in their lives too.

I think it cuts both ways, if you are interested in other people and their lives, many of them will return the favour. Saying that, I have never yet met a man (and I've been married several times) who has truly been interested in me as a person.

you might turn it around but perhaps you should start your own thread?
rather than turn the OP’s question on its head

My partner up to a point. My children in a limited way. No one else if I’m really honest.

Not many people! Most are just nosey or polite. My DH is interested but also weighed down by life. My mother is interested but only because it serves her to feel closer to me rather than actually being interested (long story). My kids loved me but I really don’t think they care unless it affects them.

Agree @MelanzaneParmigianainterest probably should be reciprocal. I’m obviously endlessly fascinated by my DC and what they’re doing and thinking. I don’t think I’m ever not interested in them. Listening to them chat about all that is going on is a real pleasure.

I spend a lot of time listening to my own mother and certainly giving every semblance of interest. That definitely is not reciprocated and hasn’t been for a long while.

I’m interested in my siblings and nephews and nieces. I have lots of friends and like to hear about their lives too. I think most people have something interesting to say. That is all at a more superficial level though.

However, I think there is a difference in being generally interested in people and life than being interested in an invested way about a person and their whole life. That was more what I was asking about.

That's such an interesting thread title OP and one that resonates with me. I have lost both my parents and now feel like there is no one on earth that would be interested in the minute detail of my life like they were. That's a killer.
I am a single mum to 1 DC still at home but wings are flying and I'm not holding them back.
I've resumed a relationship [for other reasons as well] because as much as I want to be solo, I need to feel there's some sort of support and care.

i have no partner (deceased) and my parents are long dead. I have siblings who love me but live in another country so while great when we visit but day to day I doubt I cross their minds.
My children (21 and 22) do for sure. One’s away at uni one lives on their own but we check in daily. I have a few close friends but I imagine if I disappeared one day sure they’d be sad but it wouldn’t affect them on a deep level.

I feel a thread on here the other day summed it up really...

Everyone is so busy waiting to have their say to talk about themselves, hardly anyone is interested in your opinion or in actually having a 2 way conversation anymore so I suspect most people nowadays tend to only be interested in people who they are getting something from. Whether that's attention, money, time or affection or something else.

Outside of my family, it would be my friends.
I am lucky to have four really good friends, we reach out to each other on a regular basis, and all care for each other.
We message each other frequently, and if someone were to go quiet, we would not let it slip by unnoticed.

Nobody really knows me any more. I'm philosophical about it, and also quite sad for the many close connections I had when younger. I've noticed I tend to over-compensate by blurting when given an opportunity - though I cut myself off when I realise I'm doing it!

I don't feel I really know other people now, either - not even the ones I'm closest to. It's down to everyone's lives changing and also, I think, to changes in the ways we communicate. You just don't mesh the same way over text although, oddly, letters could be very personal. The phone and even video have distance built in, there's a lot missing.

I want to go back to long evenings 'putting the world to rights', all-afternoon lunches and getting in touch with someone just to ask how their thing went the other day. Not happening for me at my stage - but, if you still have this, hang on to it!

Nice timing for this as it’s something I’ve been contemplating more and more with shifts in family dynamics. I think for me, ultimately I have one or two people interested in me on a real
level. Husband is ill, it’s terminal and as he’s more fatigued and giving his best to
others, I’m thinking more about our connections to others and how we make sense of relationships. I’ve had a loving marriage with companionship, but the last few months have revealed some deep truths. I’ve realized for me, no one has truly loved me in this world and thought of my needs like my mother did. I cared for her last couple of years and on her last day, she was telling me to drive safe and concerned about her grandson who has taken a tumble the day before. She was always interested and I feel the same about my children.

I have a couple of friends who support me as I do them. But nobody in the way you mean: as a PP said, they have their own lives, families and problems. There’s an elderly relative who loves me and who supported me when I was younger but is too frail now to do that.

But then, when I was married, it was all about him and his career, so I’ve never had that interest and genuine support. Certainly not from my parents.