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Relationships

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Original poster

5 month relationship

15 replies

RunRunfaster81 · 07/06/2026 21:20

Been in a relationship for 5 months after being on my own for 4 years. Really wanted to make it work, I do like him but I feel a bit stuck in a rut and bored. He doesnt have much get up and go and doesnt make the first move. I have spoken to him before as he isn't very affectionate and doesnt give me compliments and he said he needs to make more effort especially as its a new relationship...

I am 44 and he is 51 and we also have the issue of ED but I have tried so hard to be understanding and take our time etc but it's no different.

I dont really know what to do, I am already anxious about staying over at his next friday night.

Does anyone have any advice please

OP posts:
Lilaleily · 07/06/2026 21:22

Um yeah, leave him. You’ve not even been together 6 months, you’re stuck in a rut and there’s no ‘get up and go!’ And he can’t even fuck you properly…

HippeePrincess · 07/06/2026 21:23

Life is too short for bad relationships at any age. 5 months in and already “trying to make things work” is a sure sign to call it a day, it’s not going to get any better. You’re only 44, too young to be dealing with a flaccid penis attached to a wet wipe of a bloke. Throw this one back, relationships shouldn’t be this hard.

JaquiRussell · 07/06/2026 21:24

If you're feeling anxious about it. I'd say that tells you everything you need to know.

This guy's not for the long term, that's what dating is about. You've tried, it's not working out.

Wanting a healthy sex life, compliments and thoroughly looking forward to seeing the person your dating is completely acceptable, at any age.

Original poster
RunRunfaster81 · 07/06/2026 21:28

I have been thinking this all day today that this isnt what I want.
His dad is in hospital and its not looking good and now I feel even more tied in.

OP posts:
Original poster
RunRunfaster81 · 07/06/2026 21:30

I know it's not all about the sex but it is a big thing for me, but he said he was on his own for 5 years and can take it or leave it.

we will cuddle on sofa but he makes no other effort to touch me and I will have shorts on most of the time

OP posts:
JaquiRussell · 07/06/2026 21:30

His Dad is not your responsibility, what if the worse happens, your going to stay to help him through the grieving process too? The weight off of you when you end it will be remarkable.
Do it over the phone if you must, but staying where you're not happy won't serve either of you.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 07/06/2026 21:32

RunRunfaster81 · 07/06/2026 21:20

Been in a relationship for 5 months after being on my own for 4 years. Really wanted to make it work, I do like him but I feel a bit stuck in a rut and bored. He doesnt have much get up and go and doesnt make the first move. I have spoken to him before as he isn't very affectionate and doesnt give me compliments and he said he needs to make more effort especially as its a new relationship...

I am 44 and he is 51 and we also have the issue of ED but I have tried so hard to be understanding and take our time etc but it's no different.

I dont really know what to do, I am already anxious about staying over at his next friday night.

Does anyone have any advice please

Have you heard the phrase “flogging a dead horse”
end this now
5 months is nothing
sounds a total waste of time and energy and not worth bothering with

dylexicdementor11 · 07/06/2026 21:32

Sounds horrible, and as mentioned above, life is too short. I’d end this one over the phone and not go over to his house again. Good luck.

LittleJustice · 07/06/2026 21:34

I'd run. I'm 56, in a relationship with a guy my age. We have no ED issues, sex is very important imo. If you're feeling bored, trapped and sex starved already when this should be the exciting honeymoon phase.

Original poster
RunRunfaster81 · 07/06/2026 21:36

Thanks for your advice, I was thinking I am being a right bitch especially with his dad but Im bored.
My friend messaged me today to say her BF had bought her a lovely bunch of flowers, Ive had 1 bunch on valentines day along with a jellycat, i think thats the most romantic hes been

OP posts:
FlapperFlamingo · 07/06/2026 22:06

it’s only 5 months, you’re fed up, in a rut and he doesn’t sound compatible with you. Just end it. His dad isn’t really anything to do with you - there will always be a reason it’s not a good time but just get it done and move on.

UpDownAllAround1 · 07/06/2026 22:14

Honeymoon phase over. Time to end it

1983Louise · 07/06/2026 22:17

He's not bringing anything to the party, I think I'd rather be on my own than put up with this.

Brightbluesomething · 08/06/2026 14:16

If you’re unhappy now it won’t get any better. The honeymoon phase should be lasting much longer than 5 months. I’d end it now on the basis of the ED/disinterest alone. Sounds like you’ll be happier single. Be kind to him given his dad is poorly but be clear.

exhaustDAD · 08/06/2026 14:23

Sorry @RunRunfaster81 , you clearly want something different from the relationship than him. Also, a relationship in such an early stage should still be about mostly passion, having fun together, etc. It's already missing, there' a rut, boredom.. I am sure you know wha the future would be like, if you stayed in this. We have one life to live, it's pointless to waste it with the wrong person. It's better to be on your own than to be with someone you don't really match with...

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