Trust in Long Distance Relationship

[Lana20]

Hi everyone I was wondering if any has any experience or tips on how to maintain trust in a long distance relationship? Thanks

The same as any relationship - consistency, responsive, clear expectations, matching comms and above all, maintaining your own life

I believe LDRs have a high risk of failure when beginning that way. It'd different if the LDR started locally but one has to temporarily move for a career or education.

I don't get why one subjects themselves to the hardest way of dating. Well, actually I do have a theory that the person who seeks LDRs have emotional baggage or armor that makes them want to avoid the vulnerability of local dating. They falsely think the safety of distance is the way to go. But then all the stress starts to build of: Can I trust them, since I don't see them physically in their daily lives? Am I the only person they are speaking to?

Sorry, but you can't fully know a person until you've spent physical time with them several times a week over a period of time and been in their homes and met their people.

I’ve been having a long distance relationship for 18 months. Trust, honesty, and lots of other contact (online or phone) keeps our show on the road. 😊. We get together at least once a month, and go on breaks/holidays but we’re not 24/7. Nor do we need to be. We’re both widowed, both independent , but life’s too complicated to change it all. It works for us. 👍

Thanks for the replies. We’re actually married for 14 years & we have 2 children (13 & 8). We are only temporarily long distance at the moment as my husband has a work project abroad that he has to complete. I’m not used to living apart so I get a bit jealous when he goes out etc. I do trust him and he always calls whilst out and keeps me updated but I’m finding this hard

My husband regularly works away often for 2/3 weeks at a time to offices etc where there are female colleagues. It is hard especially if you have children. I’ll be honest even though he gave me no reason there was a time a few years ago when he was overseas and working closely with a female colleague and my mind went into overdrive putting 2&2 together and coming up with 5 to the point I accused him of having an affair. Totally unfounded and irrational and it hurt him terribly. I also went through the jealousy stage as in I was stuck at home and he was living it up (in my perception). We do trust each other implicitly as without that there is no relationship.

It will only work if you are both open and honest in what you are doing and what your expectations of each other are.

Thanks that’s exactly what I’m going through. He has a female colleague (she’s married) but they have to work together everyday and it’s making me insecure. She also complimented him on his style and said he always looks nice and he said it’s because his wife (me) buys his clothes. I just felt that was flirty on her part and it’s made me more insecure

It does get easier. My husband has worked away on and off for over 30 years. I agree her comments could be construed as flirty if you’re feeling insecure but tbh I think it’s just jokey comments and nothing meant by it. At times I felt like a single parent without the financial restraints especially when mobile phones weren’t really a thing.

After all that time together, you've seen his character and ethics, so have faith in what've you've experienced with him. He clearly knows how to conduct himself as a married man. When the lady complimented him, he brought up his wife in reply, establishing a boundary. Sounds like a good husband to me.

Worrying is a waste of time. There's no need to dig for secrets because if there happened to be, they will always come to light. Listen to the song, "Have a Little Faith in Me," sung by John Hiatt, another version by Joe Cocker.

I agree with this post. He sounds like a trustworthy man.

It's so difficult to find this. Keep hold of him.

You either have it or you don’t. Dh and I were long distance for 2 years, opposite sides of the world, when we were dating. We saw each other every 2-3 months for a couple weeks at a time. Never even occurred to me not to trust him. I’m sure he would have said the same about me. He’s a wonderful guy (still is, 18 years later). I knew he valued me and our relationship. He was in uni at the time, going out clubbing and nights out with friends, but we had a solid happy relationship and I never really even thought about not trusting him. The long distance shouldn’t really make any difference.

Thanks I agree