My DP hates my cousin because she found his dating profile

[Pistachiocoffeeyes]

I have woken from a haze, a deep haze of fully focusing on my son. My son is now eight years old; when the event occurred he was no older than 2 years old.

my cousin contacted me back then to tell me that her friend who was on the dating scene found DP’s profile on a dating site or app. At the time, I was surviving through PND so I put everything to the side.

Fast - forward all these years and my dp’s bad attitude towards my cousin and her newborn baby has brought it all back up.

how would you feel? Am I in the wrong here for really hating him?

Hating who? Your post doesn’t make sense.

Hating your male cousin?

So what happened once you found out back then? What did your DP say? What did he do? Why are you still together?

Eh? Are you still together? You hate your DP? Your DP hates your cousin? Either way, why are you with a man who is/was on a dating site while he was with you?

Your partner cheated when you had a young child and you were at your most vulnerable. No wonder you hate him. Question is, what are you going to do about it.

You'd not be unreasonable to hate your DP, if that's who you're referring too. He betrayed you at your most vulnerable and is now being awful to your cousin when she is vulnerable and she did nothing wrong.
It's probably time to consider separation. From what you have said in your post, it sounds like there's no accountability or remorse (putting the blame on the messenger), so I'd say it's likely he is still a cheat.

Your issue is your DP cheated on you when you had a young child and you were struggling with PND. He should have been supporting you and doing his share of looking after his child, not looking for other women. Sounds like your cousin did you a favour by telling you.

How has your DP tried to make amends for his behaviour? If his reaction is to hate your cousin it sounds like he is angry he got caught. And that doesn't sound much like remorse for his behaviour.

Wrong for hating your husband who uses dating sites? Of course not.

Literally a case of shooting the messenger

sounds like you’ve worked through it so if you can the. Cousin should
that said human nature being what it is right or wrong he will bear a grudge to the person who grassed him up

Sorry if it doesn’t make sense - my phone is playing - up!

yes so my husband cheated on me when DS was tiny. I struggled so much as I had no help, husband used to go straight from work to the pub and a lot of the time, ignore my calls. I used to cry and cry, I had no support from anyone. One night I became upset when he was home and I called him a terrible dad - he took that as his excuse to cheat. At the time I was not myself and tried to save my family. That was a success but now my cousin has had her own baby he is being really rude about her because she didn’t confront him at the time and she went straight to me. He thinks that he was justified in his actions because apparently I was awful. It wasn’t a nice thing that I said but it is the truth.

it has all come back to me now because of the way he is so rude about her. I grew up with her abs I love her very much.

he has never shown any remorse. I am not sure what I am doing but maybe this is the beginning of a process or a plan or me understanding my worth. Am I such an idiot?

*and

He sounds horrible. If you're in a better place mentally, now is the time to make a plan and leave.

He sounds god awful- please leave him. He is a terrible Dad, you had every right to say it and instead of being more present- he cheats!! what a fucking prince he is….

He is a terrible dad and human being. Hold on to your cousin, and let this man go!

I think we can only handle so much at a time. But from what you've said this is a wake up call. He cheated, blamed you for his shitty behaviour and has it for your cousin who obviously cares about you. He's shown clearly who he is. Bin him.

Do you mean the scales have fallen from your eyes, you have found your self esteem and inner strength, and are ready to tell him to fuck off?

I really hope so. 💐

Thank you all so much. I am always second guessing myself - always feel like I’m in the wrong. I like to keep the peace, always but I’m now starting to realise that I have given myself no respect.

You have all made me realise- yes - I need to make a plan and leave. I would love to experience a man that would never fathom cheating.

However - I cannot not see my son everyday, this would be awful 😣

Sounds like he blames your cousin and you rather than owning his own terrible behaviour.

Just like him, yes. Zero accountability for anything!!

Would he really want you son 50/50 or is it a threat?