Struggling to trust partner going for drinks after past drug use

[Jellycatt2]

Long story short DP and I have two kids under 5 and have been together 6 years. He works long hours outdoors and rarely goes to the pub. In the 6 years I’ve known him he’s got drunk 4 times. These occasions were all when he told me he was meeting his work mates for a few pints then ended up staying out much later, doing cocaine, or not coming home at all. This weekend it’s his birthday and his work mates suggested going to the pub for a few pints again. He told me and I immediately got annoyed and told him I can’t deal with this again. I can’t trust him to just have a few pints and leave. It’s caused an argument and now I don’t know what to do ?

I have proof he did cocaine 3 times but the 4th time he didn’t come home so I didn’t see what state he was in.

If he doesn't come home when he has his drink and drug binges where does he go OP?

You can't stop him going out with his pals. What you can do is make it clear that if he stays out getting drunk and doing drugs and disappears doing goodness knows what for the whole night then you will be finishing your relationship with him.

I wouldn't be thrilled about him getting absolutely blind drunk but I suppose once in a blue moon isn't the end of the world as long as he's not coming home puking everywhere and pissing himself! The cocaine would be a red line for me. Only you can decide what you're prepared to put up with.