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contacting family

2 replies

Carol52 · 03/06/2026 13:50

try and make this brief. my cousin is the only member of my family i speak to. it’s ten years since I spoke to one sister and 5 since. my other. sister . my cousin and I have had bereavements family fall outs and everything life can throw at you. we have been there for each other. her dad passed west 4 years ago and in between then and now my dad past so I have no one now. She has now got a lot of money and for the past year hardly any contact apart from christmas when she bought my 2 teenage children presents. i look back and the past year i have always contacted her. I gave not heard from her in months do I contact again or is the support and closeness now gone.

OP posts:
MyMilchick · 03/06/2026 14:21

I would contact her one more time and ask her straight out if something is wrong and tell her how you feel

ScorpionLioness79 · 03/06/2026 15:36

In my experience, and observations of others, there's always a lot of ebbs and flows or even endings in regards to connections with friends and relatives. That's why it's important to not have all your eggs in one basket as far as social connections go. It's harder to form friendships the older we get, so you have to put yourself out there. Look into new hobbies, book discussion groups, Meetup.com groups, volunteering at a zoo, a museum, a charitable thrift store, etc.

I'm one that gives an equal amount of effort. If someone begins fading from my life, I don't call them out on it. I take it as their priorities have shifted and that's life. I then have more free time to devote to the people who are still making equal effort. I know my connections with cousins have gone back and forth where sometimes we're more in touch, and other times we've gone distant (they all live far from me, but we have had mini reunions over the years). I always keep an open door.

If you're expecting too much from one person to fulfill all your social needs, that can be smothering to them and drive them away. Anyway, I don't believe in one-sided effort. I believe you've made enough, and why should you basically be begging for effort from someone who hasn't chosen on their own to contact you? As I said, my belief is to keep the door open without prodding. Find other ways for now to meet your social needs.

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