Partner still meeting former client for tea and chat, should I confront him?

[6days7nights]

I read my partners phone! He did some financial work for a lady over the past 12 months. The job to my knowledge is done and he was paid. I have found messages in his phone, they still speak and recently have been meeting for a cup of tea and a chat (at her house). A while back he was late home, he said she had called him re a work related issue and he had to fly over there, he was quite vague, from reading the messages HE had asked if she was free for a tea and a chat with no reference to any work being needed. I don’t think anything has happend past the odd messaging abou life and the meet ups. Do I confront him now or do I see what happens, if he would actually go there?

I am confused - how did you know what Miss Tea & Chat said?

I read the whatapp messages between them on his phone

Without us understanding what work he does, and if it normally involves going to clients homes (as Mortgage advisor, Pension advisor, Financial Advisor, etc do), it seems a lot of people on this thread are leaping to ridiculous conclusions.
I don't know if they are projecting their own situations or what, but I'm not seeing what the issue is here. Presumably in freelancing then networking and keeping in touch is important to continue to get work.

What seems the odd part about this post to me, is the fact you are going through his phone in the first place.

So presumably there is a back story which you haven't shared ?

he's a financial adviser, he left his phone in the bathroom after having a shower, I then went to the loo, I have never read his phone before, he’s having issues with his ex wife and curiosity got the better of me, I was actually snooping re his ex wife I wasn’t expecting to fine the messages I actually found as I new the job he worked with her on was over. I was drawn to those messages as the lady on the whatapp pic was very pretty. There’s no more to it that’s is everything g that has happened, we are not in a bad place or anything like that.

my concern is why lie??? And the meet ups seem to be friendly at not buisness related, they share jokes health issues etc

Where he said “I’ll be round in a bit”, that is very casual talk for any colleagues, it’s more something you would say to a good friend (or more). Like he’s just going to drop by whenever he feels like it. If they always say “tea and a chat” I agree it sounds very much like a code, who says that more than once. All very suspicious.

Yes, remembering someone we knew some years back, who was a bit of a snob, looked down his nose on other humble folks-He was notoriously known for using this line "would you like to come over for a cup of tea?" but he meant much more than a cup of tea, it became common knowledge
💚🙏💚

If he has something to hide he will lie when confronted. No, I'd gather more evidence. Enable Find My on his phone and snoop on where he is and how long. Think the worst until proven otherwise. Personally, I hate to be lied to whatever else might be happening.

It is the lies @6days7nights DH had his own business for years and he would often have coffees and they might be so run of the mill he might not mention it but he would never deliberately hide anything.

A family member who runs his own business has a real need for attention and validation and spends his time in these type of informal coffee meetings seeking that out but again he is open about it but honestly in his case if it strayed across a line I wouldn’t be shocked.

It is all about the motivation for doing it, looking for attention and something he isn’t currently getting is what would make me worry @6days7nights .

It's a safe bet he hasn't or wouldn't do that with a male client or an 80 year old female client. As for me, when I use a business, if they have done a good job, I will use them again in the future if needed. I would find it inappropriate and strange if they wanted to come over for a social call.

Why did his first marriage end? Does he have children with his first wife? What aspect of that is he having issues about?

Even if you have no proof of a physical affair, you can very much sense an emotional distance from him, if that's happening.

I'd print out signs of an emotional affair, which sometimes happens with colleagues who cross boundaries which is unhealthy for a marriage.

You can try sitting down with him to address a discussion about boundaries. For heterosexual people, there are different dynamics between male/female friendships that might make a spouse uncomfortable. If your request is reasonable and he cares about you, your feelings should matter more than playing with fire. If he tries to make you feel like you're ridiculous, he cares more about himself, and then you need to remind him of the consequences of having a crumbling marital foundation.

But that's someone you work with!

Your the third wheel in the relationship.