How can we plan for sister-in-law's future care in Germany?

[Difficulty101]

Please help with this.

What are ways to help make a plan for a sibling (DH’s sister) who has significant MH issues but was shielded at home for decades. No treatment and they are getting more intolerant and difficult as they get older. In Germany. Some independence - some work in a role with lots of difficulties, but strong employee protections.

No plan from PIL. It seems absolutely crazy now as they have had decades.

Really difficult to be around as there are meltdowns and intolerance of children/spouses of family members/anyone outside the family.

What happens to a person in their 50s who has lived at home being looked after more like a child than an independent adult. PIL are controlled/too old to stand up to the outbursts. They can manage some things. Anyway they can stay on in the house after PIL? Or will intolerance of outsiders make this difficult. Any experiences?

What do we do? What can we do? I will protect DC as the outbursts are frightening and contact very difficult.

sorry for typos/language. Not German but English not first language.

Does she have Schwerbehinderten status? That would be the first move to be able to get her some help. That would make it easier to get an adult social worker appointed after your PIL pass away or are incapacitated.

Thank you @Faultierchen We don’t think so (complete shielding from PIL who essentially took on a role similar to a carer). With the diagnosis and impact this has it would be above 50. I don’t think help would be accepted. I had to get a Dr to intervene in the treatment of PIL as she was keeping everyone out the house to the detriment of essential care. The Dr did provide treatment to the PIL, but I don’t think acted on the sister (unless some sort of confidential safeguarding has been put in place). It is really grim and feels awful to discuss any of this. But at the same time the situation will clearly go from bad to worse.

Can’t speak for Germany but from my experience in England:

do pil own the house and are there other assets?
the issues tend to be around the person having to move out once pil die if the house has been used to pay for care/house was rented in the first place.

in the UK SS can be made aware (and probably would be already) if pil require care and have a disabled adult child.

Hi. You probably need this website.Social Assistance - BMAS https://share.google/gUeOkKZLt0SDCQATS Germany has good cover for most problems but can be tough to find or access it. I sympathise. Are the parents or more importantly sister tax payers/ and enrolled in health insurance. Health insurance always has a website and customer service to help and usually in English.

@Octavia64 Yes, mortgage free and in good condition, luckily. I think SIL would push care away ( I did intervene/get DH to intervene) over a medical issue. It seems like PIL go along with this. Not sure whether it is to keep shielding SIL or to avoid meltdowns. It is scary there is no plan. I suspect SIL will expect her brother to do everything (and hope he ditches his own family in the process!).

Thank you @Daffodil2520 really helpful. It feels like a slow motion car crash. I want to get the right resources lined up to give to DH, who goes into ostrich mode. I suspect it will rapidly reach crisis point. She may expect to move in with us, but is completely intolerant of DC and has done things that indicates she is a danger to them. Worryingly PIL are just so passive with it all, or too old and frail to deal with the situation.