My ex partner left me just over a year ago.
The break up was a deep cut for me. I had been suffering with depression for years very severely. She had some of her own depression issues but and this is said without me trying to downplay her health, but it was minor compared to my situation.
Anyway long story short. She got better. During her depressional time, I ran myself into the ground mentally and physically trying to support her making my own sitiation the worst it had ever been. The moment she got better she was off. She even told me that was why in different words. It was basicallly, but I feel better now and you are still depressed so I'm leaving .
The breakup was peaceful. No issues or anything. I sorted all her belongings out and packed it for her. Never witheld anything I just wanted her out of my life clean and clear.
All seemed fine for a while. Then almost out of nowhere she started making accusations about me online. Saying I was mentally abusive to her. Nothing could be further from the truth. Never once was I abusive.
She has been somewhat clever in her posts on fb naming me but not fully. The only thing I can do is what I have been doing the whole time. Ignore it and not respond. I don't want to give any oxygen to that fire to burn.
Anything I say good or bad... will only keep the accusations alive and in circulation longer.
But I have to admit. It still troubles me a lot. To be accused of something so serious like abuse when it is not true. In the court of public opinion as well. I know times have changed a lot but, generally speaking the man is often assumed to be guilty vs a woman with accusations and that general statistic of life scares the crap out of me.
I know I did nothing wrong. And people of course have said "hold your head high you know the truth". But that doesn't stop the fear that one day the police are going to come knocking because for whatever reason she decides to escilate her accusations formally. I am fearful of the prospect, of having to defend myself - being judged every step of the way.
There is no way for her to prove I was abusive to her, simply because I never was.
But I still fear it every single day.
I am glad the relationship is over. It was actually easy to deal with the break up in a sense. Because the things she did after she left. After years together. I don't recognise that person at all. It is if the person I was with no longer exists which is helpful in a way because I am glad that part of my life is over.
Yet despite my having never done anything to her. This cloud follows me knowing that she could cause so many problems for me if she doesn't stop with her false accusations and narrative.
I don't know what to do.
Legally.. she hasn't crossed a clear enough line. At least not yet for me to be able to do anything to try and protect myself or take legal action to stop what she is doing. And i don't even want that. I have no desire to pursue her with legal things or report her for her online accusations. I want nothing to do with her and that has been the case for well over a year now since she left.
I have not even made a comment about her online.. even to my friends. Literally never said a bad word about her online. Yet she still sticks with her own narrative. That I was abusive. Even saying that I have been abusive to her since she left and yet, I have had no contact with her at all. Not a single message to her or about her.
I am so worried that I purchased a body camera. Now when im out I keep it on me ready to press record. Just incase our paths cross.. if I saw her in the street I would turn and run in the other direction. Yet I fear with all her lies about me that saying I did something to her in public isn't a leap to think she would do it.
What do I do?