Fed up

[suzycy34]

So long story, short. Found out about search history on husband's facebook, singles pages, dating pages , looks up lots of girls on them, but never meets any of them. Been married 14 years it been happening on and off this whole time , he says its not actually hurting anyone, but I am so fed up with this . What would anyone else do ?

Errr, he's just not been caught meeting them. That's not the same at all. That's not a relationship I'd want to be in.

What would I do...leave him! It's completely disrespectful, just because nothing has happened (according to him) doesn't mean he wouldn't like it to. He's blatantly looking around. I can't believe you are even questioning yourself on this.

he says its not actually hurting anyone

Unless you have an open marriage then of course he is hurting someone. He is hurting you, his wife, OP.
He took vows with you but he is looking to cheat on you.

I think you should decide whether you are willing to continue to be married to someone who has no respect for you. I think you should investigate how you would cope financially if you were to end the marriage.

Thanks for your replies, I know what your all saying , its not easy to leave when there is 3 children aswell, and getting the courage to actually do that

He’s shopping for a replacement for you, OP! That’s incredibly disrespectful at the very least. Surely you have a higher bar for yourself, this would be unacceptable in any healthy relationship.

P.S. He’ll get a taker one day, poor woman that she’ll be.

I would leave just on the sleaze and boring account alone.

So predictable
So disrespectful
Not a great parenting example to either sons or daughters
It’s so so boring he could be using his time to do almost anything else

He says it’s not hurting anyone but it is it’s hurting you and for that reason alone he should stop

But he won’t stop, and you won’t leave, you will get more resentful then he will think he’s justified in shagging someone else because you are not fulfilling his sexual needs and become a cold hearted bitch.

Oh I’m sure he wouldn’t have the same attitude if you were constantly sniffing around other men

I would have left the relationship after I found out the first time.

This is a very good point

you could do the same see how he reacts as it’s not really hurting anyone is it?

or take the piss
“Jesus she’d never look at you grandad”

Does he not consider you to be a person, then, since he thinks he's not hurting anyone? He's meant to be cherishing you, enhancing every aspect of your life and making it easier and fun. That's the entire point.
If you chose to rid yourself of him would you be able to buy him out of the house, or sell and buy your own?

No it's not. I know all too well the feeling of being the one to make the decision to split (different reasons to yours) and managing by myself with 3 dc. I've never regretted it. Yes it's hard at the time, but life has been better in the long run. Certainly start looking into your options, get financial advice etc before making any decisions but don't kid yourself this is acceptable behaviour in a loving relationship.

Thank you for all ypur replies , I think i know what I need to do, its just actually doing it , and not fallling into same trap again, where he evenually says sorry and then everything ok for a whike until he stsrts loolking again etc.
I got to look at search histroy on facebook, and within the month of May alone he been looking at 6 diffrrent , singles, dating , divorced women , and mature women, and sexy singles pages. He has not joined the group pages but he still looking