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Telling my inlaws about what happened about exH's affair?

8 replies

onwardsUpwardsTopwards · 31/05/2026 10:16

I've been going through very difficult time in my life and my exH cheated and we are now divorcing.

I have not communicated with his family myself as I always think, that's his family and will always take his side no matter what.

However, as cheaters do, the rewriting history and narrative makes me concerned about how it will confuse our children and their development. So I have been thinking about telling his parents about what happened.

I wonder what's people's experiences with these things are. Ta.

OP posts:
ACCAMUM · 31/05/2026 10:21

I wouldn't bother.

They know where you are if they want to hear your side.

My ex Cow in Law lived the next road down from me and not ONCE asked how I was coping, how her grandchildren were or anything. Was thrilled to "have her son back". Until THEY fell out and she died recently never reconciling with him or seeing her grandchildren.

The chances are the parents will side with him, whatever you say, and you will end up more annoyed than before!!

notatinydancer · 31/05/2026 10:21

I think you’ve been restrained in not telling them. I wouldn’t have him rewriting history.

Girlintheframe · 31/05/2026 10:25

I wouldn’t bother. That’s their son, no matter what they will stick with him and listen to his narrative. They know where you are if they really wanted your take on things. IME people believe what it suits them to believe. All that will happen is that he will twist the narrative further exclaiming your ‘mad, crazy, possessive’ blah blah what, use what ever adjective you want, but it won’t be positive I’m afraid.
You will gain nothing from setting the record straight and may well come off worse.

AnonymityAnonymity · 31/05/2026 10:32

How old are your children OP?

Are you aware that currently his family are " bad mouthing" you or interacting with your children in a way that presents the marriage breakup as somehow your fault?

Because if they are then I would be telling them the truth of what happened and telling them they can of course have their own opinions but to please not impart them to the children whose welfare everybody shoukd be prioritising.

Ryanstartedthefire2 · 31/05/2026 10:36

Id tell them

onwardsUpwardsTopwards · 31/05/2026 11:19

AnonymityAnonymity · 31/05/2026 10:32

How old are your children OP?

Are you aware that currently his family are " bad mouthing" you or interacting with your children in a way that presents the marriage breakup as somehow your fault?

Because if they are then I would be telling them the truth of what happened and telling them they can of course have their own opinions but to please not impart them to the children whose welfare everybody shoukd be prioritising.

Oldest just entered teenage years, youngest is almost 9.
Not necessarily his family yet, but certainly the exH has been spitting poinson lies.
I'm concerning when the OW surface officially, my DCs will be the only one know the real history and appear to be difficult.

OP posts:
AnonymityAnonymity · 31/05/2026 11:38

What you are describing in your update sounds like Parental Alienation OP.

rwalker · 31/05/2026 11:41

People naturally side with there own children don’t bother

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